The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Feeling Rather Blaahhh Zayyy Today :( Think I have caught the latest "bug" that has been pasted around through out my family and today is def. my day for it :(
My Weekend left me with ALOT of Growing in the program, and using my tools, Had plans for a little over a month, (and put down some things I would have done),if not for pryor promises to others, and as things go when ya deal with others, those plans were shot to hell in a hand basket, but not at pace I could re-plan the other events, but at one were I had to "Wing it" when it come to my son... He was Hurt and upset some, but we ended up turning it into a better weekend then could have imagined... Also I have to think I taught my son a little something about trusting your HP, and knowing that things will work out if you don't let others dictate your life or your day...
However, yesterday, my husband was kind enough to see that since my plans didn't work out, we went out as a family and had a nice time as well, he even took me to a fall fest (Which I SOOO Love to do)... we had nice dinner times and talks and the weather was to die for :)
I didn't get to get to my F2F due to this dang illness I didn't want to share it with others, but I still kept on track the best I could, I struggle sometimes with "Keeping every promise I Ever Made someone" and not really asking if it is something "I" want to do, or something "I" feel THEY want me to do... I don't like people upset, or mad, so I meadiate EVERYTHING, to the point of insanity of course... I am slowly learning that NO is Ok, and Sometimes just saying NO opens up many of new and exciting things for me, and what I DO want and not what Others Want from me...
But I do struggle with it, I will hand it to HP and then hours later find myself Fuming mad about it agaiin, so I hand it back over.... With my need to please, I always seem to be the one that pays the price, and sometimes literaly, pay the price...
I guess because I don't ASK others to Help me, when someone ask me a favor I jump right in and take more then needed, to please them... I am slowly seeing that even though I am GIVING them my all, I do not "Rate" in their world, enless there is no one else around, that is a tough one. And one that I am also currently stuggling with... Seeing people for WHO and WHAT they Really are in my eyes, isn't turing out to be a very pretty picture, and I am Doing my BEST to Detach, and remember, I am POWERLESS over the Actions & Reactions of Others... You would think I would know that by now, but I guess I am a Slow Learner...
But HUGE Eye Opener, Now I just have to figure out, were I stand on this subject with them, and with other obsticles in my way to finding ME.. Not them... Handing them over to their HP, and allowing me to stay focused on mine... I know this Cold has alot to do with all these mixed feelings, seems when I am sick, my mind,body, and spirit all cry out for attention, Just wish I had the strength currently to give it my all...
Hope this makes a little sense to someone...Just one of those days I suppose where ESH would be great...
Sounds to me like you are having one of those days when you just want to hide away from the world for a little while. Nothing wrong with that. My Mom use to remind me that when I was feeling that way, sometimes it's best just to give into those feelings. Sometimes trying to force the answers to come our way, only makes it worse. The answers we are seeking just seem to go farther away.
Recognizing that you're having "just one of those days" for today, tomorrow and even the next day is okay. I call it a "time to crawl back under the covers" type of day. That's exactly what I do. I practice some extra self love. Crawl in bed with a cup of coffee and good book, turn the phone off and hide from the world. It makes all the difference for me. You'll find the answers you're looking for. Meanwhile feel better and take extra good care of yourself. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
... Seeing people for WHO and WHAT they Really are in my eyes, isn't turing out to be a very pretty picture, and I am Doing my BEST to Detach, and remember, I am POWERLESS over the Actions & Reactions of Others... You would think I would know that by now, but I guess I am a Slow Learner...
But HUGE Eye Opener, Now I just have to figure out, were I stand on this subject with them, and with other obsticles in my way to finding ME.. Not them... Handing them over to their HP, and allowing me to stay focused on mine...
Hi Jozie
I too had a difficult time seeing people for who and what they were when I first started this program. I think I had my denial and pretend tools in fulll force then. Whe I took off the "Ross Colored Glasses" it was a fright!! Finally I learned to accept everyone for who they were and not who I wanted them to be That way I could relate to them in a positive way (for me). I would always examine my motives when doing stuff for them and if I was doing this task becasue I wanted to with no thought of getting anythin back, I would go ahead. If I thought they should repay in kind I re evaulated the project. Your awareness is profound and that you are questioning the picture is very positive. Keep on keeping on!!!
That's exactly what I do. I practice some extra self love. Crawl in bed with a cup of coffee and good book, turn the phone off and hide from the world. It makes all the difference for me. 
You'll find the answers you're looking for. Meanwhile feel better and take extra good care of yourself. Much love and blessings to you and your family.