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My sister is a serious alcoholic. and refuses to get help. She recently was given a car, until now, drinking and driving was not an issue. Yesterday she drove to my home, about 10 km, on a dark highway with a water bottle of straight vodka with her. She could barely walk, let alone drive. I drove her home and told her I would call the police if she drove again. She says that I am cruel and judgemental, and need to "chill out". I have since found out that is not the first time she has driven in that state. I have learned to detach from her illness, but this is so dangerous, and I am worried, no I know a tragedy will happen. What else can I do? Any help or advice would be appreciated. She is not speaking to me now, so I really don't know if or when she is driving drunk, and I mean seriously seriously drunk.
ljh, That is a really difficult situation for you I know. It's scary. I think you did the right thing by driving her home and establishing your boundary with her. Suggest you join us at our meetings in the chat room here, and if you possibly can, get to face to face alanon meetings as well. Is your sister an adult or a teen ager ?
This is a subject matter that is personal to everyone. I use to report the XAH with his plate number, especially when he woud dissapear for days. knew he was on a binge. In 26 years for all his drinking and driving he finally got a DUI and it was a whopper, he lost his driving privleges, and his car. It cost over 30,000. dollars, in legal fees and misc., Live in L.A. where they throw the book at you. (only the movie stars get off).
I get the feeling you live in europe, dont know what the laws are there. Im also an X claims adjuster, its one of my pet peeves, drinking and driving, during my marriage, I did all the driving, all the time. Never stepped foot in his vehlcle. I have seen and handled accidents where vehilcles and people are unrecognized and (sorry for being so graphic) but body parts strewn all over the hiway. It depends on how you feel about this. A vehicle at the hands of an alcoholic is a weapon. You were right to reprimand your sister. For your part. Her part, as an alcoholic, they love to get in the car and drunk drive. Just pray that your sisters HP will guide and protect everyone involved, her and other innocent people.
This is your call, but there is nothing you can do to get her to stop, even if you report her, I think they will not go after her unless they come into the path of the police. I dont know how that works. Keep working the program , it works . Wishing you all the best. Bettina
It sounds to me as if, tragically, there is nothing you can do. I'm sure you already know the three C's: You didn't cause it, you can't control it, you can't cure it. So talking to her won't change anything she does, unfortunately. It sounds as if the best thing would be if the police did pick her up for drunk driving, before she hurts someone. We can only hope it plays out the way.
The fact that she would be furious at you for trying to stop her destructive habits shows how insane this disease makes people. It's hard on everyone -- do take good care of yourself.
as soon as she is behind the wheel, call the police, it may even take a second time, my soon to be x is on his secondbut it is to late he already lost me, he thinks i am kidding i am just waiting to see how much trouble he is in. this is the first time i ever went to a lawyer.I am not a mean person just stupid. I rather it was a woman than a bottle. As long as they dont want help there is nothing you can do
Just yesterday I sent my AH an article from About.com that BuddyT wrote about DUI's and what to expect. I wrote this to him: You have been warned over and over again about drinking and driving and that you could hurt somebody else of yourself - but still you continue. I will not bail you out of jail if you get arrested again. The choice is yours.
