The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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Well, here it is after 2am and I'm up reading all the new posts. I just wanted to respond to one about her "significant other's" drinking and driving. I thought I was the only one who thought of the idea of calling the police and telling them where my husband was while he was out drinking and driving! <LOL> I was going to use that as a last resort to get out of here if that's what it took!! I have already made up my mind I'm leaving here next Spring, unless he kicks me out before then. When we got into a big argument about his drinking recently, I did get BOLD enough to tell him he's not drinking while I'M DRIVING ANY MORE!! And I'm not going anywhere with him if he's been drinking either!! So far this past week I was put to the test of sticking to those words, three times!! Now, what I want to do, is tell him, I'm not going to be his "CHAUFFER" any more either. I'm tired of having to be the one who has to drive every where all the time!!! I have to give him credit for doing what I said. I don't know how long it'll last until he gets mad at me because he'll get tired of it, but for now I just thank my HP for it going well right now. He's always telling me I'm no fun anymore. That's because he's made me hate alcohol...and I don't want anything to do with him when he's drunk!! Everytime he goes to the liquor store, he buys me those little Jack Daniels wine coolers. Like that makes me happy or something! I force myself to drink one during the evening, but there's no way I want to get drunk with him!! I keep telling him I DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THEM!! And I'd rather drink them when I'm in the mood for one, not because he thinks I should have them!! Anyway, what I forgot to say was this past week has been pretty boring sitting in the house every day because I don't (won't) go anywhere with him drinking, and I'm not doing all the driving. I had an awful thought the other day when I went to the liquor store to get beer for him, (which I shouldn't have done that either) to get out of the house ALONE!! What if I get involved in an accident? What happens if I have a medical problem and I have to depend on him to take care of me? Even now, during severe thunderstorms down here in the country he thinks it's funny I get scared. Sometimes he even gets mad that I get scared because we live in a mobile home, and I've never lived in one before! And especially since a tornado hit right here close by a few years back before I ever moved down here!! He's always drunk during the worst of times when I need someone to comfort me! He's just not there for me period, as a husband!! Well, I need to go before he wakes up and comes looking to see what I'm doing on the computer. I got behind a few days reading in my Al-Anon book and keeping up with my journal, because now I have the group postings and replys to look forward to! I made up for lost time tho, and to-morrow I can look forward to holding on to all the things I've read and learned in my heart and head!!! Whatever it takes to get thru one more day!! Take care everyone! Sincerely, Korinne
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Today, I am grateful to be on the path of dealing with my life and continuing to grow truly stronger.
hi Korrine, Your post sounds too familiar :) One thing you mentioned is that it was kind of boring sitting around over the weekend due to the boundaries you've made of not being his chauffer. Do you have two cars? Start making a life of your own so that boredom doesn't get to you. Maybe you can volunteer somewhere, go to a movie, take up walking in the park? Sometimes I don't feel like leaving, so I made myself a "serenity room" in a spare bedroom. I have a bed, chair, lamp, my books, tv and my favorite pictures. Most importantly...a lock. Luckily, I have a cousin that I've always been very close to about 3 hrs away. Sometimes I take off to her house for the weekend. I do anything not to become bored. Boredom invites stinking thinking and pity parties for me. I do my best not to go there. Just as I don't have to attend the arguments I'm invited to, I don't have to attend pity parties either and do anything not to. I've learned that when my A is drinking, he is emotionally unavailable and there's no reason to sit and wish it were different..it's just a fact so I have to do what I can for me . Take care, Chrsty
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
re dwi faHi Korrine - sometimes the step one process really helps to accept the pow of the powerlessness over addiction. I have the three d tools memorised and these ideas are a running script I keep as my shield for my serenity.
I bailed the a out so many times, drank with him and got his butt out of jail for dui as I stayed home instead of going out that nite with him... All the promises broken all the $$ gone - promising of course to always be there and that money spent was no issue - yep - I so relate.
He is gone - I could not take it anymore - it started affecting or effecting my personal and professional life significantly.
The utmost to your recovery for and back to yourself
