The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I still cant' believe in a higher power that magically makes things happen in my life...or allows bad things to happen to me or others.....I'm not sure he answers prayers because many of mine went unanswered and If he has a will and a plan...what's the point of praying for anthing?????
What I can believe in is an infinite source of love and support, or energy and perhaps grace...sort of like a flowing river that I can tap into to get what I need....that may work for me for now....
That works! And is also my belief. My HP is an energy. The same energy that lives in all living things. There are some wonderful books along this genre of spirituality.
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I used to dictate to god what I thought I needed to be happy and well, and I was very angry when it didn't happen.
One thing I knew when I walked through the doors of al-anon... what I had been doing... was... not... working. I was completely broken and I knew I had to practice something different. I eventually learned that I had been praying for outcomes... and I had to stop being so self-righteous... telling the god who runs the universe what to do. I can't have a god... and be god... at the same time.
Sometimes it's hard to trust. But when I take my seat and I listen in a f2f meeting, I am reminded of a god that works. That's why I keep coming back.
-- Edited by glad lee on Tuesday 7th of September 2010 10:36:18 PM
__________________
The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
My HP's will is so very different than my want so I had to learn how to want what HPs will was. One of my HP's will for me was peace of mind and serenity at all times so that my spirit can be at rest after I got that it became my want. Also another one of HP's will for me was the sense of assurance that when I was uncertain about something I was endeavoring to do I was capable to do it and had a program which would guide me in doing it properly (in and with unconditional love) and if it didn't work out or I hit some speed bumps I would still be alright and within HP's will. My HP is more a spiritual entity that is specific with me when I lack awareness and am dealing from fear. HP to me is love and where love is there is no fear. Just for me. (((((hugs)))))
Its great that you have found MIP, as there will always be love and support for you. I know you also have a counselor that you see and you have her support also. Love and support is only part of the solution. What if one time, there isnt anybody there for you or we cant encourage you that one time.
What are you going to tap into to help you thru the night.??? Nothing here on this planet is an accident. Im not saying you have to be a clone and believe like everyone else. Everyone's HP is different to them. In your case , it could be the power thats driving you on in building that deck. Its the HP that allows you to play your music. Maybe your still searching for it. Maybe if you just allowed some quiet time, to sit on your new deck in the garden and have conscience contact, find an item that you can hold in your hand, like a stone or a crystal. Even if its for 5 minutes a day at the same time. That in itself is enough.
Whatever works for you, I like the flowing river idea , its perfect.
You know, so many people have this same question, but the steps teach us not to worry about this. Step 3 teaches us to just keep an open mind, and be willing. Seems to me you have oth of these...so...now you need patience :) certainly not MY strong suit.
For me, it works to understand HP in the way of ENERGY. Someone once described it as "life energy"...the thing that makes everything alive. It moves THROUGH us...so i try not to take it for granted. My will and HP's will for me...not usually the same thing hehe :) What i want led me to misery. What I allow to unfold before me without orchestrating...is always much better.
So, I figured out, that i don't need to actually DO anything...but I do have to learn how to just BE. That's why quieting my mind and body (something I am working on very hard) is paramount for any kind of emotional and spiritual recovery for me.
I am new here...spiritual study has been very important to me. Once I learned what i THOUGHT I knew about God...well...I had to leave all that at the door when I came in. I am relearning now...and it is a much kinder softer gentler learning.
Peace... Jo
-- Edited by rainbojo66 on Wednesday 8th of September 2010 06:45:50 AM
Hi and thank you for your post. I always believed in a higher power which I called God, but what I didnt believe or even entertained the thought of was that I should pray to come to know his will for me. Oh I prayed for this and that and the list went on. I really never consulted him for guidance, because I knew it all and the outcome I wanted. The outcome was what I always asked and prayed for . Being a control freak I was busy giving orders I now see. To make matters worse if my higher power had come down before my very eyes I probaby wouldnt have seen or heard him anyhow. I didnt know how to listen, I couldnt find a quiet place in my head to have even heard him. Knowing that I needed to be restored to sanity since there was no doubt I was losing my mind I became willing and wanting to listen. Of course then I needed to know the question "how do I know its the voice of god and not me?" Then I found that answer as well. The voice of god comes to me as "truth", I hear it and my mind do not say, oh was that me, did i say that, maybe i heard that becasue so and so said this or that etc....I hear it and it just sits with me, questions do not follow. It is also something that I would have never said, a way in which i dont even talk or think. After I hear it I do not find myself wanting to argue with it, or question it, thats how I can recognize the voice of god from my own. :) another miracle of the program :) thanks again...
For me I visualize flowing along in a stream. I can fight and try to swim upstream - I am going to get tired - I am going to get beat up. Or I can let go and go with the flow. I don't know where it is going to go - it might not always be where I want. I can use the tools and experience I have to navigate the streams . . . but it is what it is and is going to take me where it wants.
It may be God . . . in the bible it says it is God . . . as God is all things. I don't see a person and I don't think that there is some divine being in my life directing things. I believe I can fit into the flow of nature or not. I believe I can work against that or with it and if I pay attention it will tell me how to work with it. Nature has a LOT of experience . . . and the answers are there. There is nothing like a walk out back - the breeze - the fog lying on the horizon announcing its slow approach on the wind that carries the sea to me. The brown grass swaying and my dog brushing my leg. The blue sky. This is what I turn to. This is my HP.
__________________
To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
Very interesting post I too prayed for things that never happened even when i entered the program, man i was praying day and night... and nothing ! Sheesh figured maybe i wasn't worthy of an answer. I shared on this subject many a time and I pondered it endlessly Finally I got an answer, quite a few answers to be truthful My first lesson was that HP ( whom I call God) was speaking to me and trying to show me the right path.... problem was I wasn't listening or looking for the signs God was giving me. Once I figured that out, that after I prayed I needed to look and listen then i realized it was up to me to either take the path HP wanted me to go or ignore his will and keep one trying to force my will upon others. After many failed attempts at forcing my solutions i completly gave my will over to HP. And he hasn't let me down yet. I found I can pray for others but they also have to be willing to follow thier HP's will. If they choose not too, since God gave us free will that prayer may not be answered. I can pray that my son finds sobriety but again as he has free will it is up to him and his own HP and only them that can make that happen. So after you pray listen and look at what HP is trying to tell you My second lesson was once I saw what path HP wanted me to follow it was up to me to do the "footwork" (there's that word again huh?). No majical angel was going to make things happen for me. I had to do the work. Third lesson..HP works in his time not mine. I wish that were not true cause i am not a patient person but I have learned patience in this program and have learned to wait for HP to direct me. Fourth lesson... this kind of ties in with the first one HP's will for me may not be what I WANT but it is always what I NEED. and I need to accpet that. We don't always know what is best from us or what we need in order to restore us to sanity. So don't count out on believing in a Higher Power. After praying please take the time to listen and then act on what your HP is telling you. Blessings
I didn't believe in any HP and a point in my life. So many bad things had happened, and I thought that there was no HP - or if there were one, he/she/it hated me.
After a while in recovery, as I began to accept my part in the things that I thought had happened TO me (that I later began to realize just happened, not TO me, but happened in part as the result of choices that I made), I began to realize that all the bad things were not a HP withholding happiness from me. The things were happening so that I could get to the place where I wanted to get rid of all the junk that was separating me from being happy.
Clearing out all the junk through hard work on my own recovery has been a real awakening - and I consider it a miracle that I even got to the point that I realized I needed help. Most of my life, I was unhappy and just blaming other people because of what I perceived they did TO me - and I did not understand that those people were hurt and sick themselves.
Blessings - and you're making progress, even if it doesn't feel like it. I see a lot of changes in your posts already. :)
