The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well nearly two weeks have passed since the disaster in my home. The rumors are horrid I can rise above it but my chilren are having some difficulties.
Did I want this young man to overdose in my home? Did I want my 18 year old son to give CPR for 45 minutes to a friend he could not save?
It has truely been a walk in HELL!!!! Seems everyone wants to point fingers and blame someone.....the truth of the matter is...he did multiple drugs before he came to my home and we were unaware of it.
Now we are left with yet another mess to clean up....I am doing my best to Let God and Let Go....sometimes i just want to scream enough already.
I am so sorry you and your family are going through this.
In my life, I often do have to literally scream "enough already" in order for me to truly mean I am ready to let go and let God.
Actually this situation unfortunately does sound pretty normal. People love rumors and love gossip....and especially the blame game.
I hope you can seriously have a good conversation with your kids and you can come together as 1 to hold your heads up high and rise above all this. Always remember...."I am not responsible for what others say or do ... I AM responsible for what I say and do and how I react to others."
I know it is not easy to do, but I am certainly pulling for you!
It will be news and gossip until something else catches their attention and they can move on to the next thing that can give them the "red meat" they need.
Hold your head up, you did all you could for the young man, no one would choose to have this happen in their home. People can be so cruel.
You have to remember that people that do not participate in the AA or Alanon programs do not fully understand how addiction evolves or how it all works. Even if he did do drugs in your home, it is easy for them to do what they want, when they want. All they have to do is slip off to the bathroom for a few minutes. Rumors always float around, especially in small towns. The important thing is that YOU know the truth. Remember that saying "It is none of our business what other people think of us." To thy self be true. You hang in there. This too shall pass. Peace to you.
Please don't dignify the gossip and rumors by allowing it to occupy your mind. Easy to say, hard to do. But you have a great program, your HP knows who you and your children are. That is all that matters.
Aloha Andrea...the title of your post gave me a knee jerk remembering what normal use to be like for me my reaction was, "God I hope not!!" When the drama starts always remember where the detachment room is at. (((hugs)))
My dear friend I am so sorry this is happening to you & your family. Rumors are horrible. It's people pointing fingers because: 1) they don't know what happened 2) they feel the need to blame someone b/c they don't understand 3) some people are just plain mean.
The bottom line is that you & your family knows the truth. You were the ones there trying to save him. You did not give him the drugs nor did you leave him lying on the floor. Detach detach detach. You will all get through this. You've gotten through rough patches before and will do the same here. Sending you much love and blessings to you & your family.
Live strong, Karilynnn & Pipers
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
This is the part of life I don't get. Crap keeps happening to us, and somehow we are supposed to not only get over it but find happiness as well. I'm struggling with this so much, I don't know what help I'd be to you with my posts. But I can identify with these feelings.
If I think about it, was anything "normal" in my life? Before I came to the program, I had an illusion that things were normal. But geez.... today "normal" is just another silly word/concept.
The goal is to accept the things happening in my life, to let God have God's way (cuz it's going to happen anyway!!) I am playing God when I resist and argue. I never win that battle. It's a program of surrender. What happens when I drop the thought, that these things should not be happening...??? I am at peace.
Who knows what benefit my story will be to others, when I share how I got through it!? The spiritual goal is to turn myself out, let my life be used for a higher purpose. "How best can I serve thee?"
Spiritual progress... to let today be better than yesterday...
(((hugs)))
-- Edited by glad lee on Sunday 5th of September 2010 10:10:23 AM
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
So sorry you and your family are having to go through this. Seems people always have to blame someone/anyone else in order not to have to look within them selves You and your son did all that was humanly possible. We all know in this program every A has to hit thier own bottom and sometimes that bottom is death. This is what I fear for my own son who when he gets high stops thinking about "limits" and doesnt know when to stop, I can't imagine blaming anyone else for his actions because I know through this program he makes his own choices. Blessings to you and your family
you have been through such a lot. I imagine the rumors are all about not being able to accept this young man's actions. I know I certainly could have been in that situation many a time.
