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hi,sorry its been such a long time since ive been here but i promissed someone here that i would post,she said she could relate,well im trying to disconnect from my 1 yr relationship with my b/f whom id fallen in love with,at this time in my life i do not need a b/f ive never been w/o one though but looking back theyve all been alk/addicts,this time its really hard he is not in eny treatment and says he dont need them he has sliced my brand new tires never paid for them and i took him back i did nothing to deserve that he was drunken and i wouldnt let him in is why he sliced them then didnt remember nothing till way later and sorrys werent enough coming from him ,this time he got on some heavy pills and while i was gone to town came back he so tore up on pills he knocked hole in my sheet rock and busted my window and my new fan and nearly busted up my frony of my airconditioner and when straightened up he said he didnt know why or what he did it for,i made him leave with his clothes andthis time i cant do it agin i do miss him dearly just want to wrap my self arould him and love on him he is so full of affection,but i just cant his family turned their backs on him yrs ago his bro said he was a **** waiting to **** up im so ver lonely but its time way over time i get out of this and it hurts for im sooo codependent sick person,im basically all alone here me and my smal dog,we do get scared its only been a whole day since ive talked to him i just pray and pray ill have the strength to stay away from him,oh and since we been together he wrapped a brand new car around a tree cause he was all pilled up,his car he just got.i need all the esh i can get here ty all and love u all too ,,patty cakes
-- Edited by canadianguy on Thursday 2nd of September 2010 01:13:04 AM
I am so very sorry that you are in this situation. It sounds very painful and lonely.
As you know we have a 24/7 chat room here and 2 on line meetings everyday.
It sounds as if you are pretty isolated so it would be good for you to break this isolation and try to get to the chat room as often as you can. Post here as often as you can, and remember face to face meetings are where you can get literature, and hugs!!!
Alcoholism is a dreadful disease and we who have lived with this disease are badly infected by it. It is so important for you to start to Focus on yourself, Live one Day at a Time, Pray and really understand that your boyfriend has his own Higher Power and it is NOT YOU.
Oh Patty!! I hope you reread your post several times as if someone else had written it. I had to ask myself what is it that you're in love with rather than who. Somewhere along the line I had to learn the difference between the reality of who I was married to and the fantasy of who I thought she was. Whether he remembers it or not (is not a sane justification) the man has damaged your property and is leaving you to fix his damage all by your little ol self and will continue to use and drink? Are you expecting to get love back from this person or are you willing maybe for him to take his violence out on you directly rather than the tires, wall, window and whatever else isn't broken yet?
I also agree about face to face meetings because I know they work. The face to face meetings and entire program of Al-Anon saved my life. I also suggest you look into additional protection such as a TRO against this person. Had you been living in my town and I knew of what was going on I'd have had you at my desk as I wrote one out myself. I use to work as a case manager for Alternatives to Violence and you needed the TRO a long time ago. You're scared and the answer to that is protect yourself first don't deny that what is happening is threatening to you or any woman who had to deal with it.
Wow for being a person of great affection he certainly has destroyed a lot of your things and cost you a lot of money. I didn't hear you say except for that 1 sentence what affection he shows. And it certainly doesn't sound as if he is concerned what so ever over the damage he has done to your car and home. I will tell you this Just as addiction is a progressive disease so is abuse. Yes abuse...he may not have taken out his rage on you personally yet but from experience I can tell you it's coming. I know we don't give advice here so I won't do that, Only you can make choices for yourself but I do suggest that as painful as it may be right now you let this relationship go. It will only get worse until he hits bottom and I am fearful from what you have described that you are going to get hurt or worse. Please take care of yourself Blessings
