The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Aloha Ohana (family)...just got a thought and feeling provoking email from a person in the other room. LOL It was one of those that immediately triggers my fangs and talons and a hiss and I pounced on it with my best pre-program skills and then re-read it to see if there was enough heat and flash and weight and thunder in it before I hurl it back at her (yes her) and then e r a s e. I don't like being had and the response indicated that I had...been had. Soooo not wanting to display a less than compative attitude I redirected and smoothed the edges of my reply throwing in a bit of program again kinda sorta not reacting but more responding but making sure she (yes she) would get the "dragon message idea" that Lou mention earlier. And then e r a s e again. I was still being had and this time it was because I was draping myself on the hook voluntarily. I still have some martyr/victim positions I can practice and though nah...It really is best to practice detachment and not engage working only with honesty and right thinking and getting a positive nod from HP. I finally hit send to an email that acknowledged her own and then stepped back into my own life.
I use to like being a dragon and I do like ketchup on crunchy critters however a lot of them get caught in my throat because I don't chew enough and swallor to fast.
I'm behaving. Thanks for keeping my chair. (((((hugs)))))
Does this fall under the "say what you mean , but dont say it mean" catagory??
I want to make sure I understand your post... I guess its better to always take the higher path. I hope you were able to convey your message in a way that you wanted.
If Im not understanding properly let me know. Im not on your spiritual level. I mean that as a compliment. I wanted to ask you , Have you written books or articles. You have a great way with words.
I've had many interactions with "customers" where I'm ready to breathe fire upon them (I use "customer" in the loosest possible term... they're more like the "b-tchy peanut gallery").
I've found I'm usually ready to just JUMP and lash back immediately with the same disrespect I get dealt at times.
Instead, however, I often will sit and stew for a while, but will ultimately decide to give it a day before I send a response, if I even determine in the long run a response is even necessary. Al-Anon has taught me to pause like that and put space between the event and my response. I've heard often that God lives in that space.
I'm also blessed with some fantastic employers who understand all too well the kind of personalities that I occasionally run across and are more than willing to let me vent to them where necessary, and they will back me up if those particular customers decide they need to threaten me and go over my head.
The longer I take to respond to something, the less energy I have around it, and the more likely I'll be asking God to guide my words.
I can sooooo relate to this one. I often have to write 3 (or more) versions of something before I can edit all my "pre-Al-Anonese" out of it and respond with something more productive and respectful. I know that I need to give respect even when I don't get it. Hard pill to swallow some days, but it makes me feel better in the long run!
Boy do I see myself in your post. Sometimes it just does a person good to write it all out and then hit erase. The writing and erasing is like handing it over to my HP for me. Hey HP, you take this one it is best between you and me!
I have also saved the email as a draft thinking I will reread this later. I have found these drafts weeks later and thought "Oh thank you hp for saving me from myself"
Love to ya Mr. Jerry... what great timing you have ;) To remind Me just when in "My Life" to NOT Engage & step back... You are an Awesome example of this program, and I feel quiet Honored to have the chance to share in your ESH :) Thanks So Much...
Have a Beautiful Rest of your Day, Love & Prayers Friend
I use to like being a dragon and I do like ketchup on crunchy critters however a lot of them get caught in my throat because I don't chew enough and swallor to fast.
I'm behaving. Thanks for keeping my chair. (((((hugs)))))
Hugs Back to You Dear Jerry
I can so identify. Even after all these years in program sometimes my fall back position jumps to my non program tools to "Seek and Destroy.
Reveling in my anger, and sarcasm, for a brief moment , I would feel justified, arrogant and and oh so powerful!!! The high is short lived and then I am either mending fences with a 10th step or have made a life long enemy.
So grateful for your honesty. No matter how long I am in this program I will always need the fellowship to remain connected to HP and my tools.
It sounds as if you found HP in the few minutes of pause and rewrite that you have posted about previously.!!!
I must add that it has become much easier than when I first entered program. I do not have to fight with myself too much before I choose the Principle above personaility
