The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH has been in rehab (out of state) for 30 days. He is working the program, attending and participating in meetings. He is thinking rationally and has his priorities in order.
He quit drinking 23 years ago but due to back surgeries became addicted to prescription drugs. His drug of choice was alcohol and as far as the prescription drugs are concerned I don't think he really knew how to get off them without the detox process. His counselor agreed with that
He is frustrated because he does not know when his discharge date will be. He is not looking to leave right now because he wants to do it the right way. I don't think the length of time that you are in rehab will determine the success or failure of recovery. He has been giving the tools, intends to attend AA meetings and work the program. Ultimately, his recovery will begin with him. My recovery begins with me.
The reality at this point is he has to come home to start working so he can contribute financially. I am utterly convinced that he knows what he has to do. He is also aware that if he doesn't he is on his own.
Certainly recovery is the number one priorty but there comes a point when you have to face the real world and deal with the issues. I've been handling everything on my own and it's overwhelming.
Good news your husband is in rehab and has the tools needed to work his recovery ! Just one thought i had was you are correct recovery is the #1 priority and without that he will never face the real world or deal with the issues, at least certainly not in a healthy way. I would suggest you let him work his recovery and stay in rehab as long as he feels he needs to be there ( my son was in a court ordered rehab and they discharged him after 30 days even though he begged to stay telling them he wasn't ready.. thier answer was they needed the bed. And my son was right he wasn't ready and relapsed quickly). I know you are overwhlemed right now so would be a good time to throw yourself into your own recovery. I am sure you want your husband to have the best chance at a lasting recovery so while he is working his you work yours. I know how difficult it must be as you are now respondsible for everything but try and see the big picture and then just take it one day at a time Blessings
Aloha Allee...I learned on this long journey that there cannot be a "but" at the end of, "Certainly recovery is the number one priority"...there can be an and and a period and if there is a but anything that follows it kills the importance of it.
Having a solid recovery will result in him getting and staying responsible no matter who is on the sidelines expressing fear and uncertainty. Your program of recovery cannot be any less of a priority than his...If he doesn't make it or if he does you must.
Ask yourself how many years u prayed for sobriety in your home - 30 days sober does not bring rationality , he is stark raving sober faced with the biggest decission of his life and for his family . For me if husband needed another 30 days in treatment that would be a no brainer for me .. yes your left alone to carry the load for another 30 days but in the grand scheme of things its not a big sacrafice .. You can do this . In our literature it says we do not have the right to choose a method of recovery for anyone but ourselves . Keep the focus on yourself do what u can and life will get easier .
