The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm still working on my deck and I'm beginning to see parallels in this project to me, my attitudes and my life. I'm also beginning to think that my HP placed this project in front of me for a reason (there I go again...). Whether intentional on my HP's part or not, here is what I'm learning: 1. Patience for myself and my shortcomings. 2. A more reasonable point of view. Instead of looking at the mistakes I'm making (and believe me there are tons) I'm also starting to see what I'm doing right. I have a tendency in my life to only look at the negatives. 3. Like me, this deck will be less than perfect, may even be quite faulty, but also like me is not devoid of value. It will be sturdy and it will be functional...we'll be able to stand, walk, eat on it etc. with no fear of falling. 4. Like me, in order to be better this deck will need a lot of work, tearing out "mistakes" and replacing them with better fits. And I may never "finish" or "get it exactly right" but I don't have to.
Finally I was reminded of my own "death bed philosophy" that I've applied to other areas of my life and offer to others when I think it would help. I goes like this "Do you think you will worry about this when you are on your deathbed?" In this case I honestly wont'. I won't lie there dying, bemoaning that I didn't do a great job on the deck. I will care about my relationships with important people to me (like me daughter), did I have fun in life and live it in a way that brought me joy.
Yank...I love metaphors...living in pictures. Your post reveals self acceptance and courage and a conscious contact with HP. It also reveals the importance of living in the now! Thanks much. ((((hugs))))
By the way I use to cringe mightily when my Mom use to ask, "What do I have to do draw you a picture." It would have been easier on her and I if I had accepted "yes" as the answer. LOL
I use the deathbed question often. I think it really goes along with the slogan, "How important is it?" but I think it really puts things into better perspective if I ask myself... "Am I going to be sitting on my deathbed wishing I'd done this or said that?" Usually my answer is a big "NO". ;)
