The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Have shared. Maybe paranoid however feel like not welcome. Told to go to f2f not always easy, am not looking for sympathy but answers and support just not feeling it. seems those that have been here a long time show interest only in new people. Told to go to Al Alon by therapist that it would help, am feeling worse. I guess my question is is this not the right programme for me.
Not clear on your post. Are you saying you went to a F2F and didnt feel welcome.?
Have you posted on this board before and had a bad experience.?
If you are involved with or live with or are affected by somebody who drinks, this is the right place for you and we welcome you!
Im sorry if you had a bad experience and not feeling good, perhaps if you would tell us about yourself and what you are experiencing we can support and give you our experience with this disease they call alcoholism. We have all walked in your shoes.
Welcome to the MIP Board. I am so sorry that you are feeling ignored but please continue to give alanon a chance. The on line meetings here have a definite format and each person has the ability to share and be heard.
What is important to note is that in alanon we DO NOT Give Advise. This program was set up to help those who have been affected by living with the disease of alcoholism. We believe that all the answers for somone's life are within there mind and heart. The tools that are presented will help you find the right answers for your life.
We can recover from the deadly effects of this disease by learning to use the alanon tools. Live one day at a time, make gratitude lists, get a sponsor and work the steps.
All the tools require that we focus on ourselves and learn how to validate our needs and speak our truths. It is a slow process and all are welcome to the circle.
Keep showing up for yourself and post here You will receive responses and feel validated.
Thanks for having the courage to post
-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 29th of August 2010 02:02:42 PM
hello kinker am sorry u feel that way ,I looked back on the board went back a few pages and I dont see any other posts from you . I am sure if you share yur struggle here u will get answers . keep going to f2f meetings they will help go with an open mind and listen to the similarities not the differences and you will hear what u need to hear . keep commin back
Why don't you give us a chance? I have received nothing but support here. I cannot get to f2f meetings as there are none within easy driving distance of where I live. I am lucky in having supportive friends but gain an enormous amount from this board in terms of empathy and understanding. It was quite a revelation to find out others had been or were going through, the same difficulties as me. Suddenly I didn't feel so alone.
As Bettina suggested, tell us a bit about yourself and give us a try!
I related...When I first got to the program I hated it; both of them Al-Anon and AA and I just got angry and rageful and left. I didn't know anything about the program and didn't learn anything in those first few meetings. I didn't know that I was just stuck on bad attitude, "hate everything, everyone and more". I was perfect for the program and didn't understand that I was...I left for a while and things got much worse as I was told it would.
I didn't say to myself "You are a newbie Jerry F and you don't know that this is all about how about sitting down and being open minded and patient and asking questions?" I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know and by the time I came back I was toast for the best of reasons. Abnormal had become normal in my life and I had become the problem for myself. Yes I was born and raised within the disease of alcoholism and yes I was once again married to an alcoholic and addict and yes I didn't know how I got there...so I had to learn.
I had to acknowledge my lack of awareness and understanding and sit tight and reach out and ask for help. I needed to be able to admit that the "only problem was me..." and come to understand what was broken with me rather than point outward and blame what I thought was broken with her or them. I learned and it would take more time and more effort to come to a greater understanding about how I got myself into such a fix. They suggested that I don't talk about recovery because I knew nothing about it and they suggested that I do as many meetings as I was able to in a 90 day period of time with 90/90 being the best. I got to 102 in that period of time much better than the 4 - 5 I originally went to and hated. One thing that helped me tons when I got into Al-Anon was the suggestion that I leave my problems at the door before going into the meeting and pick them back up when I left if I wished.
Okay take what you like...leave the rest and persist with an open mind. ((((hugs))))
Suggestions sometimes can be hard to implement. I took decades to get to al anon. If you are considering it I think its worth a try. I'm not really sure what the issues are you are talking about. I do know this board has helped me a great deal. Finding the "right" meeting can indeed be difficult. There meetings online and other online places to find recovery. I hope you will follow through because we all deserve help and understanding.
I was somewhat confused by your post as I wasn't sure if you are talking about not feeling comfortable here or at f2f meetings. But either way I am glad you found us. If you are affected by someone elses addiction you are in exactly the right place ! I live in an area with no access to face 2 face meetings so I come right here on our meeting site everyday in order to work my program. Maybe doing meetings online for a while might give you a little more insight into how the program works and give you much needed information on the disease of addiction. When I first came to alanon I was looking to "fix" my son who is an addict and found out this was a program for me. I almost didn't come back as surely I wasn't the one who needed fixing. I was challenged by another member to work the program for at least 6 months as the program is free if I decided to leave after that they would gladly refund my misery ! I didn't want to be miserable anymore so I took her up on that challenge and am forever grateful that I did. Working this program has saved my life and my sanity and if you let it it will work for you! As was stated above we don't give advise except in the event of abuse. What we do share is our ESH ..experience, strenght and hope What works for one person may not work for another so you can take what you like and leave the rest. I don't know what your story is or who brings you here but I can assure you if you post here you will get responses from many wise people with alot of program time under thier belt. If you join us online for a meeting it is true that many of us know and have been together for a while, you will certainly not be ignored on purpose. You will be acknowledged and if you wish to share we will listen. But a lot of newcomers just want to listen for a while so we won't/don't push you to participate. When you are ready you will know. So please keep coming back, know that you are not alone and we are here to help. Blessings
Welcome (((Kinker))) I am glad you're here. I can't imagine that you won't find the support you need to help answer your questions here at MIP. I, too, was told that F2F meetings were vital to my own recovery, so I tried the (only) group in my area. After 8 meetings, I just felt it wasn't right for me. However, I did visit another group (an hour away) for one meeting and it was a totally different experience- I felt very welcome and got a lot from it. I have decided, for now, that the F2F meeting here is not for me but I will keep an open mind and I will attend the other one if I start feeling really out of control again. The recovery plan for each of us is as individual as we are. I hope you can find the right one for you. The support and comfort I have found here at MIP has been tremendous and I credit it (along with my HP who led me here) with my present feelings of well-being. I sincerely hope you find the same.
love from Denise
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The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.
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"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
