The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
wow...what has it been now...like 3 weeks? My reactions to things have changed so dramatically (because I listen to my HP and my smart sponsor who has been there done that and got out alive lol) that people have no clue what to do with me.
But I find the calmer I am, the more engraged my sister gets now. It's baffling. It feels like an exoricsim at times lol...I get calmer...and she gets more linda blair.
She called me yesterday (I dont know sober or drunk) and has been apparently attending meetings for about 3 days. Her daughter (whom I EVACUATED back to my place after my visit to my sister's chaotic mess of a life) is on her way home today, with a pocketful of alateen, an aunt and uncle and cousins who loves her and a mom who is lost and sick. Hmmm...I wish I could have kept her here and wrapped her in bubble wrap. I know what she's going home to.
Yesterday, when my sister called, she was ANGRY. I could hear her voice, but my reaction was calm, I mean AITHENTICALLY REALLY calm. I felt UNAFFECTED by her...is that detachment? Or cold?
She was giving me hell for not telling her that her daughter was going to a cottage for 3 days with my kids and ex. But...child is 1) under my care and 2) I did tell her. But she was drunk and doesn't remember.
She started yelling when I explained that I HAD in fact told her. She hates loosing control over her daughter...she is really ocd about that, Makes me (and the poor kid) nuts.
But she was drunk and didn't remember that I had told her (it was the night before her first meeting..soo...)
She called and called. I was downtown running a demonstration opposing horse slaughter with Alexandra, and she just kept calling. Eventually she gave up and left a nasty message. I don't want to be talked to like that anymore, and it suddenly struck me (moron lol!) that I have this wonderful button on my phone that allow me to CHOOSE WHO I INTERACT WITH. erase, delete...it's the GET OUT OF MY FACE button :)
I am under no obligation to anyone. Nope. Not anymore. Feels great.
This experience also gave her daughter a chance to see how A's can mirror. Her message to me talked about how angry and unreasonable I was. That I was yelling and screeching...but I was very calm. Screeching was what she did. When her daughter saw the reality...she saw that sometimes her mom will put how SHE feels on her Alex and that she can see that as part of aoclholism...and not take it personally.
Wow...how great is that.
You guys are awesome. This program is awesome. I feel so much better.
yes it is awesome! The A's do react and go extra nutty when we first begin to change and detach bc they expect and need to feed off of our energy. When you divert yourself and turn elswhere, they come demanding to know where we went. Hold tight and hang tough. Yes, I would say detachment = unaffected. Bc if you are affected, u are certainly not detached lol.
Way to absorb it! Quickly too - u MUST be ready for a change rock on with your bad self oh ya and keep coming back ~ ur worth it!
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Actually that was detachment!! Yay doesn't it feel powerful. One way it felt like snatching my body out of the mouth of demons and other times it was like a breeze gently pushing me away from a cliff. Your open mind has helped you learn quickly grasshopper LOL. It works because you've been working it and also because it worked for those who passed it on...You are now officially a miracle in progress...Step onward. I'm grateful you brought it back home here because it is soooo hopeful for others who are not as far as you are yet.
Nice of you to say. Pretty sure it will be forwards and backwards until I am finally of theplace upon which I have stood stil for so long, but I'm lucky because of what i learned in AA...didnt make sense then. Wasn;t time. MAkes sense now.
I love this :) even today...slow day. no energy. taking on some big issues...slowly. But...it's still all good.
How wonderful :)
Because of good examples and reinforcing the RIGHT behaviours...notthe wrong ones. I dont need friends who help me stay sick. getting rid of those too lol.. Peace guys...may this note find you ABUNDANTLY peaceful :)
rock on with your bad self oh ya and keep coming back ~ ur worth it!