The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's been way too long since I've posted, though I've read often. For those of you who remember me, things have gotten better here, and for those of you who don't remember me, well, I'm really not any different than you. Two years ago, when I became a member, I was so scared, so unsure, so UNHEALTHY, I felt like I was truly lost and there was no way home. Though I haven't reached total peace, I am so much closer now. I have made changes here in my home, and in myself. Changes that I am proud to say are working for me, for now. I gave up my eagle eye watch more than 6 months ago...that brought me a lot of peace. I stopped trying to solve my abf's problems and only concerned myself with my own..that, too brought me a lot of peace..mostly because as we all know, that is one of the hardest things to do. I had a lot of difficulty learning to let go with love..to me that always seemed somehow a contradiction...if I love him, how can I let him continue to harm himself and keep quiet about it...well, again, it was a long time coming, and I stumbled a lot along the way, and tho its not always easy to avoid the elephant in my living room, I do it, and feel better for it. I changed my attitude, my priorities and tho I had heard it many times, I was still shocked to see how much better things got for me, and for him. Yes, he is still active at times, and I am now willing to let that be his problem, consequences and all. I am happy to say that he is choosing the bottle less and less, as we are finally learning to really communicate, as I have stopped being his judge and jury. My life is better without the guilt, the worry, the stress...I remind myself that my life is my own, live as I see fit, and so is his, and so is yours. I know I coul not have gotten where I am today without the wonderful support I have gotten from so many of you.
a step closer to peace, jeannie
__________________
if you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you
Aloha Jeannie...Sooo reassuring!! While you weren't posting you were working your program and you brought the success and recovery back to post. I am sooo grateful for that cause it is other members recovery that has become my own with the same consequence. Mahalo (((((hugs)))))
