Betrayal and resentments... - Al-Anon Family Group

chauri · Member

Betrayal and resentments...

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

chauri wrote:

Anyway I'm rattleing on. but my problem today, now is, I'm feeling hurt, lonely, and angry. And I'ven't even done anything wrong.. Am I sick or what? this disease sucks..
wonder non-alcoholics have this kind of feelings? I'm also feeling sorry for myself, that I can't share my pain and love of our daughter with her father..

Hi Chauri

Thanks for coming here and sharing your heart!!! I selected a small portion of your message because it spoke so powerfully about my disease and the beautifl gift that the alanon program offered .

Who would have thought since a simple program could heal such a broken spirit? I too felt lonely, angry, resentful and full of self pity. I isolated myself and constantly reviewed my pain in my mind.

I found alanon as a last resort and how grateful I am

The tools of meetings, sharing, prayer, focusing on myself, living one day at a time, gratitiude list, sponser all lead to such an enrichment in my life that I can truly say I Feel grateful for this beautiful program and way of life.

Please keep coming back you are not alone

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Chauri...((((hugs)))) feeling hurt, angry, and lonely even when you've done
nothing wrong...Gotta change those choices. Choose to feel something more
appropriate like compassion, acceptance and self love. I was taught to use the
indexes of our daily readers; ODAAT, Courage to Change, Hope for Today and the
others and look up the readings under those words and/or their opposites. Rocket
Science for me then and now great affirmations. As We Understood is also a great
reader by subject. Course if I wanted to sit in front of the teacher/professors I'd
call my sponsor or get to the class room; the meeting; and take lead on the subject
if I could although most of the time the lessons came from listening only as my HP
directed the room to me.

Betrayal for me is a feeling that tells me that I've yet again placed the reason for
my peace of mind and happiness into the hands of another not qualified.

Keep coming back...you are soooo worth the effort of recovery. (((hugs))) smile

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

chauri , I don't know if your attending f2f meetings for yourself - if not please get the support u need from people u Can trust . I too have had the realization that I cannot trust my husb * sober for many yrs* with my true feelings or discuss my fears as he feels he has the right to share them with our friends or children , if I had wanted any of the above to know about those i would have told them myself .
I trust my sponsor , and a few Al-Anon friends with my fears and feelings they keep them to themselves never tell anyone else and it is a safe place to share the real me ..
I used to feel dissapointed about not being able to tell my husb those things but now I understand he just dosent realize how important it is to keep what I tell him to himself he means no harm thats the way it is .
Years ago I heard someone say take your problems to ameeting or a sponsor and come home with a solution , best piece of advice I have heard it works for me .. Louise

chauri · Member

thank you all for sharing. yes ABByal i do go to FTF , at least 2 times a week. Doing my readings like Jerry says. I feel it 'cause, though I'm doing it all, trying to focus on self etc., I still feel this pain. my intelligent side knows i'm powerless, but in my heart i still feel pain.

I'm certainly greatful for the program and this online forum, It makes me feel I'm not alone thanks to you all. I'll keep coming back.

day at a time.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.