I often thought to myself, I wish I knew then what I know now, I might of been able to get better quicker, and so with all my experience dealing with my a husband and my now sadly deseased,  a brother, and having alanon big in my life, I realise I have been in denial about our 19 year old son, I think I can understand why and how it manifests it's self in our children, but coping with it in our children is so so much harder for me I find, I have practiced saying what I mean without being mean, I have tried to set clear boundaries with clearly defined consequences, he tramlpes them all, I have tried to step back to think which way to go, hoping that time will allow him to hit his bottom, it's not had the desired affect I had hoped for, he is out all night god only knows where, and with whom, he has driven drunk twice last night being the second to my knowledge, and this is a definate no no for me, so now I have  taken away his motorbike, it was something we provided him with to better himself, but he uses it like a loaded gun, he has probation this morning and is in no fit state to attend, I have just reminded him only to be verbally abused, he's tired dirty and hung over form what I can only summise is, alchohol drugs? possibly both and or more, I am not going to contact probation on his behalf, to smooth it over for him, neither am I going to drive him there for him to meet his probation requirements, I am going to run this thorugh the serenity prayer filter, and allow him the pleasure of his own behaviours, I haven't slept all night, i don't sleep many nights, always waiting listening to hear his bike engine, and thank god for his safe return home, this is a family decease and it's wicked!