The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It is essential to reduce the stress when living with or having lived with the stress caused by the disease of alcoholism ..
Since coming to alanon I have found the tools of the program very, very effective for reducing stress.
Living One Day At A Time, Focusing on Myself, Praying, Writing Gratitude Lists, Making Alanon Calls, Calls to Sponser, Meetings,Sharing at Meetings Working the Steps,Reading the Courage to Change and How Alanon Works, Visiting the Chat Room, Taking walks and Not Engaging with the Disease works very well .
When I am stressed about going in to work, I usually listen to classical music on the 30 minute ride there. I'm a creative person and I love to write, dance, etc. Sometimes during this short drive, I will let the music play out a story in my mind or I see/create a dance with my mind's eye. It really calms my nerves-that and a few deep breaths-and I'm able to go in with a brighter attitude.
Music, Journaling, Breathing, Meditation CD, Reading, and cuddling with my sweet floppy ears (Bunny).
As for my personal life with the A, now that's a work in progress...
I really find comfort in being able to come here to MIP and share experiences, strengths, and find hope in others progress and recovery. I also have a book called Hope for Today that really helps me keep my thoughts focused on positive daily meditations and gives me great insight in how to work the tools.
Thanks for letting me share. Many Blessings.
-- Edited by nh girl on Friday 13th of August 2010 01:33:04 AM
If I think back to the most stressful periods, a few things helped a lot:
- The serenity prayer, said over and over could calm my breathing - The prayer of Saint Francis, could remind me of the me I wanted to be - A f2f meeting, listening to others share, I felt surrounded by love at least once a week - Walking and jogging, always gets me a straight connection to my HP - Reading pages from al-anon daily readers - A good cry with my sponsor! Somehow, when the tears flowed, stress was reduced.
My mantra, please grant me the serenity....(I have trouble with the God word so replace it with please). I just keep repeating these 5 words until my heart rate slows.
Al-anon literature, courage 2 change especially, my f2f meetings for ES&H, warm hugs and a good cry if I need to. Theres no shame in letting your tears fall, good for the soul.
My house becomes tip top, I exhaust myself physically doing housework.
Im an avid walker...got to get out from the four walls which can feel like a prison sometimes.
Engaging with my best friend (normality) who I neglected for far too long when consumed and isolated by the disease. Shes a great source of hugs and nonsense, and we talk about everything exceptit.....I take that to my meetings.
A good deep massage, back, neck and head....it knocks me for 6 and I then sleep like a baby. It costs me £20, no guilt attached!
(((Pax))) When I have extreme stress, the first thing I grab is my Courage to Change book. In the back there is an index for different situations, I find the area I'm stressed about and start reading. I always find I am calmer after reading in that little book and I am able to go about my day. I also will journal about what is bothering me and what I am doing about it. Then later, I look back and try to learn from it. It truly is day by day, one day at a time...
It will feel silly but hug a tree. Works every time for me, I can touch or hug a tree and think about everything it has withstood to still be standing and everything it has seen in it's lifetime and somehow I feel a little smaller and my problems insignificant in the big scheme of things. A bath always helps, coffee or a soda while listening to the noises of town, meditation, prayer, petting any animal. Any time I am doing something repititous like dishes I try to let my breathing slow and mind clear until I am almost on autopilot, just those few moments help me to be more relaxed thru the rest of the streeful parts of the day.
There are plenty of good ideas here, some of which I already use-reading my alanon literature, praying, taking a walk, going to bed with a book. I also find that it helps me to spend some quiet time with Mother Nature. Sitting among the trees watching and listening to the birds always helps me relax. Another great stress reliever for me is working in the garden. There's something very satisfying about ripping out weeds and digging in the dirt. Oh, making bread is a good one too. You can really take out your stress on the dough- kneading it, punching it, etc. Plus you have the reward of something good to eat when you're done!
Calling a friend - especially someone who I know has been having a hard time - just to see how they're doing. That can get me outside of my own troubles.
Meditation.
Doing something creative - like a vision board, drawing, writing, crafts, painting, etc.
Getting a massage or a facial.
Hot aroma-therapy baths in a candlelit room with relaxing music playing (since my separation from my AH, I've been making this a weekly Sunday night ritual - I really look forward to it!!)
Exercise.
Cooking a new recipe.
Reading restorative types of books, be it CAL, or other spiritual-themed literature.
The best remedy for me is to find a meeting , just sit you don't have to talk .listen to people sharring and hope returns .. also getting a diff perspective on the problem works and that only happens when i reach out to someone and tell them what is going on with me ..often what i think is happening isn't whats going on at all .. the biggest stress reliever for me is to look at the problem make sure their is a part in it for me before engaging in the chaos =if its not my problem and I havent created it fixing it is not my job and i can now walk away and leave it where it belongs * with them *
Aloha Pax and I just love your handle. "peace". Al-Anon promised me peace of mind and serenity if I could keep and open mind and sit, listen and learn and practice and that promise came true. I have had Pax miracles that were stunning and they inforced my need for it. Reduce stress? one of my practices is detachment; not denial. I don't deny that there are things in my life that could fracture me into small tiny pieces like shattered glass IF I turned only to fear of it and focused on the negative. I acknowledge that which I have no control over and let go of the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors which have to do with controlling outcomes. When the fear and stress rise I auto matically bring in my Higher Power to deal with it with me and even take the lead when I've run out of responsibility. I deal with the truth of situations which are also found in the 3Cs (three cees) I didn't cause it, can't control it and can't cure it...so I let go of it all. When I find myself worrying I am reminded that worry is the front door to the house that fear lives in and I don't go there given the choice. A physical practice of mine is sing, dance and do funny and I have to be in the "it's okay attitude" It's okay to have fun and be gay and relaxed. Getting your sense of humor back is a key evidence that stress is going on a vacation.
Great question. We could all use some suggestions. Some of my favorite things to do are:
1. Sitting on my patio at dawn or dusk (usually dawn) listening to the world wake up.
2. At work if I can't escape for a few minutes, I stop and take a few deep breaths & say the Serenity Prayer. I keep one of Tim's coins with me and rub it. Or remind myself that I am lucky to have a job that is causing me stress.
3. I go for a long walk in the woods without my IPOD.
4. I listen to very soothing classical music. I have a CD called Serenity.
5. I have Pipers Kitty. Never underestimate the power of "fuzz therapy." Pet are one of the best tools for recovery.
6. I find the eucalyptus scent very soothing so I take an extra long bath or shower using that scent and I scent the room with that too.
7. I concentrate on the small stuff. If I am a horrible day and I am walking home & see a chipmunk frolicking I'll stop & watch.
8. Eat a bowl of my favorite ice cream.
9. Last but not least, I will grab the cat & boogie around the living room (with the curtains closed so the neighbors don't freak out!). As stupid as that sounds, it makes me laugh. Poor Pipers has no clue what is going on. Laughter is the best medicine.
It's often those things that will see me through. Great suggestions. Love the idea of hugging a tree! Great thread. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I try to make myself busy, reading, listening to music. [Ness, I wish I had your desire to do housework to relieve stress]
I think of my blessings, yes we have been dealt a bad hand by this terrible thing in our lives but we can't let our whole lives just be about this!!!!
I love to watch a good movie or sports.
It can be not so good for you but I can't help it, I am a news junkie, this came down from my dad (God rest his soul) the household was to be quite when the news came on. Those were the days when you only got a 30min. news program one time a day. He got me hooked on current events.
I pray and tell God what I am feeling.
I try and focus on my 17 year old with autism, we have a lot of work to do this year with school that just started this week. We will be traveling to Birmingham about an hour away from here two nights a month for him to attend social skills classes that he needs very much.
I have pets that I love and they give me unconditional love with no backtalk and I need that with a teenager in the house!
I'm enjoying reading all the different ideas you all have. I'm going through a particularly stressful time, and this is a comfort.
Also, I'd like to propose an exchange program between those who find cleaning to be theraputic, and those of us who prefer to ponder - i.e. come clean my house
