The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have a family trip coming up soon and experiencing alot of anxiety. Worries about he cost (i can't really afford this trip now, but it's too late...just becomes another part of debt)....about losing or screwing up the airline tickets, forgetting something, forgetting to lock a door or setup a timer. And that the Wife usually freaks out on trips because apparently she's anxious too. Not looking forward to all this. Any suggestions for maintaining my serenity? I will try to make a meeting but in the meantime?
When faced with a similar situation I have found what works for me is fall back on the program and not project, live in the moment, one day or one hour at a time, and always take the serenity prayer with me.
I agree with all of RLC's suggestions. He is right, program works.
I did find that when I am worried about fogetting/losing things that making a list of each item where they are, each task and when I must do the task really helped. Then I would cross the items off the list once completed. This kept me focused and calm.
I hope you enjoy the trip, keep hold of your serenity within and Let Go and Let God
Forgot to mention, as often happens...murphy's law..other thing start going wrong..the furnace and hot water heater now something smells like smoke in the living room..unbelievable.
hmm... well, I did experience constant anxiety and like my wise fellowship members already pointed out to you - projecting into the future will without a doubt, create a ton of anxiety. Dealing with what you can in real time, one thing at a time - is what I do.
When I go on a trip (or do anything) I make lists of what I need and their subsequent lists (categories therein) bc it keeps me organized, I can check off as I go giving me a positive reinforcement. Know you can't plan for everything, things to go wrong. When I moved across the country last year - we drove off and into a traffic jam. Well, nothing to get upset about, we had about thrirty six more hours to go! No sense in making it unpleasant for us and the cats in the car -bc it wasnt going fast enough or how we expected.
I've found that the less I expect things to go anyway in particular - and stay in the moment - the more relaxed I am bc I am not trying to control anything.
Its like, why get mad if you know blankety blank always happens when I do this X thing here. I should not get mad, I should not take it personally. I can be calm in a hurricane, I know I've actually done it before.
The other thing that helps me - is to surrender my feelings and forgive me for whatver it is (freaking out, expecting things to go smoothly or whatever it is) then I can re-group and try again with a more open mind. If I feel a fight coming on - I can pray for peaceful words and not defensive ones. I can breathe and think a minute, before I automatically react.
If I sit and feel my feeelings without reacting (for 5-10 mins) the biggest part of that emotion is already over - it is already subsiding and I can face what I can change and how I can take responsibility.
I cannot make everyone happy, participate or have a good attitude, but I certainly can not take their junk personally, I can practise loving detachment, allowing them to be upset (if thats what happens) and me practising not rescuing them (dont want them to resent me for the help I offer, nor do I want to resent them for not taking my great help). Breathe, practise calming down, and try to enjoy the break somehow, even if all you do is learn about you and practise ur program. Take some time out to meditate and pray, it always helps me.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I hear my HP telling me awhile back "This is a test...this is only a test". Program should be tested from time to time if it is worth something. MIP members have offer you some gold...lots of value in "don't project", fall back on the program..."trust the process" and make a plan and follow thru. I like all of that and know it has worked for me also. I'm adding take it all in little bites, chew well before swallowing and then take another small bite, otherwise you'll continue to choke on the whole thing at once. Use patience, tolerance and slogans. We have tons of tools available for us in situations like this. Good luck (((hugs)))
Leave a key with a trusted neighbor, which we all should do anyway, and have him/her check on your home while you are gone. Forget something? Either replace it when you arrive at your destination or do without it. Turn off the main water supply to the house; ac, 85. Something wrong with the tickets? Can't imagine what, but if so, there's always a later flight. You are borrowing trouble playing a negative game of "what if." How about "What if" I have a great time? Deep breath, relax! Traveling is fun. Enjoy.
Diva
-- Edited by Diva on Thursday 12th of August 2010 07:43:08 AM
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
What are u going to do if none of what your obsessing about dosent happen ?? you will have ruined your own holiday = no one to blame for that one but you. Go with an open mind and a positive one make this the best holiday you ever had , who knows u may even enjoy her company . go figure.. Don't miss the good days . enjoy You can be the emotional barometer for your home think positive its catchy too .
