The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I haven't posted in a long while. I've been REALLY busy. I'll attempt to recap the last few mo. I decided to leave my home of 18 yrs. and move to the Gulf coast. For years I have dreamed of living near the ocean. I decided to just "do it"! I rented a wonderful apartment on a pond, 2 miles from the coast. After driving 11 hrs with my son following in a big moving truck I made it and settled in. My son helped me unpack, stayed a few days, and for the first time I had to say a real goodbye to him. (ouch!) Living so far from my family took some getting used to, I missed my kids a lot. I kept myself busy by putting my focus on walking my dog on the beach and watching the most beautiful sunsets, recalling that I now have the opportunity to live my dream and being grateful that I can.
My focus again changed soon after I moved, my Mom needed another brain surgery and didn't do well afterwards. I needed to be there. Since I didn't have anyone to watch my dog, nor did I know how long I would be gone, I made the 10 hr. drive back to St. Louis to drop my dog off with my daughter, then flew to IN from there. At first I felt overwhelmed, after just dealing with the chaos of moving..but then my internal voice said "suck it up buttercup, it's not about YOU!!" My focus went to getting to and being with my parents, not what I had to go through to get there. "Poor me" kept knocking at the door but I just didn't really have time to answer. Mom came very close to not making it, but she came through it. After 2 wks in IN I retraced my tracks, flew back to St. Louis, picked up my dog and drove 11 hrs to the coast, dog in tow.
I hadn't been home a week and my Aunt passed away in Arizona. Some of you may recall my Uncle's passing last summer (had to go to AZ. twice), this was his wife. She lived almost a yr. to the date w/o him. She left her belongings to me, many pcs. from around the world. Oriental furniture, middle eastern bronze pcs. etc. This where you'll think I'm nuts... I let it all go!! I had to change focus again. I was exhausted, physically and mentally, and knew it. I did not want to fly to AZ. I had no way to get the stuff or a way to get it in to storage. I made a decision to take care of me. Another Uncle went there to deal with her cremation and did get the jewelry she left me. I'm happy to have those things to remember her by. Many moonlit walks on the beach later, I came to terms with losing her and her things. I decided she wouldn't want to make me crazy..lol.
Two weeks ago there was a bunch of drama with my 16 yr. old grandson. w/o going in to detail, he will be in juvenile detention untill he is 18.
Last week, husband was found to have a blood clot in his leg and must give himself shots in the stomach 2x a day (he's still in Alaska).
How does Alanon work in ALL our affairs? It allowed "poor me" to stay where it belonged. Away from my head. I chose to find grace and be grateful my Mom lived, grateful that my Aunt is with my Uncle again, grateful that my grandson is getting the help he needs, grateful my husband was diagnosed before a potential tragedy, grateful for the calming affects of the ocean sunsets, where HP assures me all is O.K. and my life is just as it should be.
I'm not big on pity parties, so few friends knew of my recent trials. For those of you that supported me through all this, please know that your kindness and love lifted me and helped me walk down that long road with the strength I needed.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
You are simply the best. You are my role model and one of my dearest friends. You continue to teach us & for that I am always grateful. I love ya girlfriend. Thanks for being part of my recovery & my life. Couldn't have done this without you. Much love & blessings to you and your family. Sending hubby extra prayers that he will be fine (I know he will be). Kiss Lou for me.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I guess life still happens whether we have a program or not. Holding the alanon membership card doesn't prevent life happening to us, but has a huge role in how we respond to it. Thanks for sharing how you handled it with your program at your side. I think "Suck it up Buttercup" may be worthy of registration as an official slogan! I hadn't heard that before but it makes me smile. Contiuned peace and serenity to you and your family,
"Cujo?" really? Not!! LOL. Can just imagine what that whole thing would have looked like and come out to without this program and your HP. I'm glad you had it available and have the longtime experience of how it works and the willingness to work it. "This is how it supposed to work" I remember and this is how I will work it also. This ESH will keep others sane and alive if they all read and learn and practice it themselves. I thank you for the reminder and am grateful for the program. (((((hugs)))))
(((( Christy )))) way to take care of you all the while, turning it over and making sure it stays alive, growing and positive. Thanks for being such a stunning example of working it with grace and gratitude.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
How I envy you, your strength your living your dream as life should be. You are a wonferful inspiration to me and plainly put a wonderful soul and i love ya!!
It is funny, everytime someone says I am being too "driven, tough, bla bla bla" (usually while whining excuses) you always cross my mind. I always look for your no-nonsense responses and your go-get'em attitude.
I am very sorry to hear about your Aunt and hope with all my heart your mom is ok. Way to go working through it! "Suck it up, Buttercup." That is priceless! Mine usually has something to do with bootstraps. I like yours better!
Hopefully your husband won't have to do those shots for too long. Jeez, that makes the ones in the fanny seem like a breeze.
I hope you get some time to relax now and enjoy your new digs. You pushed through, now it can be about YOU!
Welcome to your new home.
Tricia
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
