The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today is 3 years since the death of my soul mate my dear husband Chuck. Tomorrow he would have been 53.
I find as the time goes by I don't look so much on the bad anymore and I can see how and why I loved this man so very much.
The anger had control of me for a very long time. I think I have finally gotten thru all of that (don't misunderstand I'm still mad that he left us) but now I understand that he just had no fight left in him against this horrible disease. It consumed him in the end and wow what he is missing. He has missed his children graduate high school his beautiful g-daughter and much much more.
I don't know if any of you are country music fans but there is a song by darius rukur called wiating on a woman. There is a man in a white suit sitting on a bench at the beautiful ocean and he says just waiting on a woman.....well I think that is what Chuck is doing...and I hope he has a very long wait.
Just a little humor in such a sad day. I miss him, my kids miss him, and I will always love him. I guess that in itself is a tribute to the kind of man he was......when sober he was wonderful!!!!!!!!!
Sis...inside of the loss and grief you still find that ray of sunshine and can smile if not laugh. Truely amazing...the celebration I've learned about. I got a (((hug))) for you and when I'm done I'm gonna laugh out loud at the picture your wonderful imagination came up with.
Very very sorry for your loss, Andrea. It's great that you can find the good memories of your time together, and I hope you carry them with you always.
Thank you for sharing this important anniversary with us. I too am able to remember the good without denying the impact of the alcoholism. You are such an inspiration to me and your posts help me to see how another applies the program to day to day situations. Thank you for sharing your recovery and your life.
I admire your process. I am not there in being able to see the disease as clearly in those who I put so much faith in. I know I can see it with people I am not attached to. I also think that given the tremendous damage your husband did to you and the aftermath he left you it is formidable you can rise above such a catstrophe. Someday I will get there. I don't know how but I have an idea where to aim now.
I hope both Chuck and Tim have a very long wait for their women. Time does heal the wounds, but the emptiness is another thing. I know right where you are. I've always said that I believe they are up there looking down on "their girls" cheering us on. Remarkable men who we were lucky to love and be loved by them, despite their disease. Sending you extra love & prayers to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
