The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My friend in recovery is coming home in 2 weeks. The codependent person in me is worried about how he will do when he does get back. The person in me that is changing and working on things through my learnings in Alanon is saying "live for today, you can do this, don't worry about when he gets here and what he will do when he gets back".... I know it is on him now. I know only he can work his own program and it sounds like over the phone that he wants this badly and has really worked hard at the treatment center.... that said, I still am a bit worried. At least I can admit it now? Is that a step in the right direction? How can I keep myself from worrying when he gets back? Its been great having him in treatment while I work my own program these last 4 weeks... But I want him back so we can do things together again like we were before the disease reared its ugly head.... UGH. I don't know what I am saying or looking for. Maybe just a word of comfort and to know that someone else has been here? Thanks in advance for reading!
Just keep the focus on yourself ,there is nothing u can do about him same old same old his recovery is his business or the lack of it , dont walk on egg shells anymore remember your not powerful enough to make anyone drink or stay sober . Keep going to your meetings , keep your expectations low sobriety is not easy especially for him he is trying to live with out his crutch , enjoy sobriety and take it easy. You will ok as long as u keep the foucs on yourself . We print abook called Dilema of the Alcoholic marriage , read it, and do what itsays to the best of your ability , it talks about the drinking sobreity and alot on communication.will hel u alot . LOUISE
I think admitting to worry is a step in the right direction, it was for me anyway. Before admitting that I just blindly thought the whole problem would be gone, almost as if rehab was surgery to remove a spleen that was causing you trouble. Ignorance is not always bliss
What to do with the worry is my problem. Keeping the focus on me and my recovery, knowing that I could/should live my life and that I did not cause it, can not control it and can't cure it, and the Serenity Prayer all helped for starters. Just keep working it!
Just be sure you take care of YOU...it really doesn't matter what the addict says, what matters is what they DO...I really hope that everything works out for you. I feel your anxiety in your message, I've been there, I know...you can't control the addict, but you can control your own future. Good luck to you...I will pray for you and your family.
