The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm so glad we can take what we like and leave the rest. I've often said alanon is what organized religion-( First Baptist or Methodist Church or whatever) should hope to be.
I recently encountered somene who had some good things to say but said it as if they has "arrived" at this all knowing state and I was "less than" because I didn't see it the way they did- really seemed to "get off" on this and set up a "how are you" to be able to say this at least it APPEARED THAT WAY to me.
My sponsor puts up with things that are cruel and mean from her A things that to me if that happened in my relationship with someone sober or not it would be a deal breaker for me AND I know there are things in my relationship that would maybe be a deal breaker for others.
and detachment to me is a wonderful tool BUT if you are going to detach %100 from your loved one, accept everything - that is not a relationship at all to me.
So therefore I guess I like that I can apply the program as it works best for me observe how it works for others and take what I like and leave the rest.
Love to all and your "spot" in the program Glad
-- Edited by glad on Friday 23rd of July 2010 09:11:24 AM
I agree it works differently with different people. Some abhor the use of alcohol, I drink occasionally (never had a problem, I know when to say "when") and don't use it to mood alter. I too can't work the program as some others do. I take what I like and leave the rest as well. It's very personal and the beauty is that we can all accept our differences.
Thanks for sharing. I agree that the beauty of this program is to take what we like and leave the rest. I sometimes wonder what drives what I like. Sometimes I think it's my HP directing me toward "the good stuff" right for me and where I'm at. Other times I think it's because i'm not ready to hear what I need to hear. Either is valid for me.
Aloha Glad...I needed that philosophy alot when I got into the program myself. I needed help deeply and because the problem of alcoholism in my life had taken years to mature and then entrench itself in each and every part of me trying to find and get a "quick fix" was impossible and overwhelming and that is when I was offered "Take what you like and leave the rest...for later". I had to use it to "get over the "I am different than you guys" belief" so that I took recovery in little bites and with a very open mind along with a willingness to change what I could when change was indicated. Just a part of that was getting into the rooms of AA myself after 9 years without drinking in Al-Anon. Taking what I liked and leaving the rest often mean't throwing out old beliefs which were about my denial and lack of awareness. I am grateful for every part of what I have taken up till now. I'll get more as I keep coming back. (((((hugs)))))
