Hi all

I have been in Al-Anon for about three months. When I started I was in England as a student. I went home to Norway almost three weeks ago and was very nervous about going to a Norwegian meeting. The only meeting I knew of in my area was a meeting especially for adult children of alcoholics. I didnt go the first two Mondays because I was too scared, but last Monday I managed to get hold of a lady who goes to those meetings regularly, and she said I was most welcome.

I went to the meeting, and Im very glad I did. It was only me and two women. The structure of the meeting was exactly the same as what I was used to in England.

The meeting helped me a lot, as I have had new difficulties since I came home. My ex-girlfriend, who is an alcoholic in recovery said to me last time I spoke to her that she needed another three weeks to finish her step work in AA. During that time she could not have any contact with me, unless she needed to talk to me to make amends to me. I said that I would not wait for her to make amends, so I dont know if she was going to or not.

It has been almost a month since I last spoke to her, and I havent heard from her since. I cant help but wondering how she is and hoping that she will send me an e-mail one day. She said that she wanted us to be friends.

I have decided not to contact her myself, as I feel it is she who said she needed space. I just hope she is ok. I dont think of her all the time, but its like it is always in the back of my mind. I have to realize that she might not contact me at all, and I cant go around waiting for a text or an email the whole summer.

My parents, and also to my big surprise, my sister, is all supporting me and seem to understand that Al-Anon is good for me. I had a little hope that my parents would find some interest themselves as well, but I dont think it will happen. My dad has definitely grown up with alcoholism. My grandfather was a binge drinker and my uncle, his brother, died from alcoholism just a few years ago. My mum seems to be the biggest co-dependent person in the world. There could be a picture of her in a dictionary under co-dependent.

Although my parents are both very interested in the program and seem to get inspired by how I behave and what I do, I dont think they see themselves as they are under the influence of our decease. Im not going to suggest that they are. By pointing out this about them I would automatically try to manipulate them into thinking more like myself. The result would not be what I want it to be. This has been one of the biggest lessons I have learnt in Al-Anon (still learning).  

I spend most of the time, helping my parents moving, something that will last the whole summer, but I still get time to play music, go fishing and exercise. I am happy most of the time, but its still a rollercoaster some days. My parents get on each others nerves some times. They argue about what should be thrown away and what should be kept and they are both worried that this whole project is going to be too expensive. I have to work hard with the program to deal some days. I am not responsible for my parents happiness. I think the best I can do is to stay as positive I can, and maybe point out the things that are good, so they can see it.

I keep reading the literature, and write my lists before I go to bed. There was a couple of days after I came to Norway that I stopped writing those lists. I then had more troubles sleeping at night.

Thank you all for being here.

Are