The material presented
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Ok its friday am and I cant get into the meeting room and man I am going wild here. I know I need these meetings but since I cant get in the room I am reminded of how much I need these meetings and how critical they are to starting my day with the right frame of mind...god im trying every which way to get in and cant...Im projecting over here and thinking omg John and Rose may have run out of money to keep the room going and thought I had better make a better effort over here in spite of the financial stress most of the world is dealing with. For some reason I think if I cant make a decent contribution like $20.00 or something I dont maybe because I find it embarassing, lord talk about black or white thinking !!! anyhow, i thought i would take this time in my frenzy of trying to get in the room to talk about it. I am reminded that nothing is black or white once again and even if its only a couple of dollars it can help as it all adds up. Ok, Im going back to trying to get in there .......
thanks bud :) well now that u mention it I just got a call from my sister in law telling me to "get ready" as my brother is "coming for me" since its my fault since my sil are spending so much time together and I am ruining their relationship. I introduced my sil about two months ago and she for the first time in her life is "speaking up" and my brother doesnt like it. She is a baby in the program so to speak and no one has brought up to my brother that he is an alcholic and he doesnt know she is attending meetings. She is scared and so new but finding her way slowly and for the first time in her life reaching out for help to me and to alanon. I listen to her and try to apply the principles I have learned. Well I guess this is going to be a good time to put my program to the test lol...her new found voice is not something he likes and of course it has to be blamed on someone and that is me apparently , good god the insanity of it all. She is not at the point of facing him head on and saying take responsibilities for your own actions and I have had enough and I understand that. She has made so much progress in her realizations and beginning to find herself for the first time, having been so emeshed in him . Well anyhow, I know I am powerless over him, but I am not powerless over myself . I guess in a weird way I am looking forward to his confrontation as how I would handle it a year ago and how I will handle it today will certainly be different. Im not surprised he has to blame someone and it seems I am the target...thank god I know today what I didnt know a year ago...im reminded of what i heard in hear about blame...take the me off and what do u have left...bla bla bla... i might find myself using that one ...thanks for listening :)
I am sure the problems with the board are simply technical. I can't imagine John and Rose letting the boards or rooms go due to financial difficulty without letting us know first. But offering to be of service and help them financially is a really good idea. They help so many. Perhaps John can let us know how to do that.
As for what is happening with your brother, sorry to hear he is heading your direction with aggression in his heart. Don't accept the blame or guilt and hold love in your heart first for yourself and then for others. No is a complete sentence, you do not have to put up with or accept the aggression and boundaries are wonderful in this type of situation. Congrats on being there for your SIL.
Tricia
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
Detach, detach, detach from his blame, his issues, from wanting to rescue them, detach from the future and be present in the now. Stay objective and this will help u to not get down into the drama and emotionalism. Remember: What are u going to do? And allow them to figure that out for themselves as well.
I'm having trouble getting in the room too today.
Don't take any of his bait, try to laugh at it if u can (and detach) as u know the hooks/drama are coming. You can love, support and model ur program but that is all u can do, keep working it and keep focused on the one you can change. Remember the best way to help is to work your own best program. If u get a hiccup or slip, when u get the awareness of it ~ accept u where u are, forgive you for it and re-set to zero and begin anew with an open mind. TC of you, dreamy!
I'm with tlc on the no is a complete sentence and boundaires. You certainly dont have to tolerate any abuse.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Ya know dream This isn't the first time I haven't been able to get into the room and you know I was as frenzied as you were. But it is the first time I didn't think it was my fault LOL. That I had said or done something to get banned from the room. Now that's progress LOL. As far as the situation with your brother... well you already know my thoughts so I won't bore you. Blessings
Dream keep in mind that you are not alone. You brother might just be too fearful to confront you or he might be ready to hear "What's your part in it?". The very best conversations I've ever had with drunks were short ones. If it happens keep it simple. Use your HP and the family. Best person for him to talk to is a recoverying member of AA.
I hope you're feeling a bit better, about the chat room anyway! Progress...
Time after time I worry and then say that the worst I was worrying about hasn't taken place. You are armed with your alanon toolbox and family. Try to take things as they come, rather than how we imagine things will be delivered.
Your sil is so lucky to have you in her life!
Prayers for your time with your brother to bring you good surprises!
