Hi cpigg,

I'm sorry I don't have much ESH (experience, strength, hope) to share, as much of my experience is with my husband, but I know many here will be able to offer insights. I know that seeing your child engage in risky behavior is scary and disabling to a parent. I hope you will consider alanon for you, as you will need a lot of support dealing with this.

Hugs, Rocky.

Aloha cpigg...one first thing first is give up the "I can't do" attitude because that
one will lead to volutary victimization.  There is lots you can do and you've done
one here...reached out for help.   Go see if your country has a drug court and
give them a call.  Start a thread here about boundaries and you will get tons of
feedback some of which you can use.  I am a former adolescent substance abuse and alcoholism counselor and I can help.   Becoming 18 isn't a safety
net for your daughter actually she doesn't get more protection but less.  She
becomes eligible for even stiffer consequences however she probably hasn't
gotten to thinking about that possiblity yet...let it be a surprise.  Draw up the
rules of the house...like we don't and won't allow any drinkers and drug users
inside of this house or around it for 100 feet or so and have her sign it and
date it with a "goes into effect immediately".  You sign and your husband signs
and everyone else.   Make sure that you are willing to abide by it and enforce
it with everyone...me even if I come to visit and post it at the front door in a
plastic sleeve...one inside the door and one outside the door.  You have to
be ready (not always on guard because its fine and okay to understand that
she can read and understand and follow thru with simple english and her
parents desires) but ready meaning if she or anyone violates the rules you
act quickly.  As a counselor the quickest response I use to get was from a
911 call and yes I use to use that on my clients.  "No drinking, no using, no
threats of violence, no physical acting out...etc."  Cool I use to get paid real
well for that and my parents learned it also.    

So anyhow thats just a part of my experience from the past that worked both
as a professional and an Al-Anon member...My alcoholic wife also knew the
rules.  You have to follow thru without questioning them or yourself..."act as
if" is a great slogan and act as if even if you're afraid.   It's never perfect so
that isn't ever a requirement.   When she reaches 18 or one day before take
her down for a tour of the police station and family court and have her get
the first names of the professionals down there and let them have your
story.   They will appreciate it because it will make their tasks simple when
she shows up on her own.   These are real suggestions.

Oh when you go to the police station and family court and drug court and
stuff it is best to call ahead because they just love to support you like we
do and they are nice nice caring people.

(((((hugs)))))

That last piece of testimony should be taken to the police board, mayor and the
news paper.  Takes courage and it will bring the family into the spot light but
consider what it's like if you don't have the courage.  It's already out of hand.
Consider also a community get together on the issue. 

I'm at the moment planning some Public Information activity.  I've been around
awhile and haven't scared off yet.

((((hugs))))