The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I set the wheels in motion to disolve our marriage, all the stomach churning feelings of fear about where will I live, how will our children take it, how will I financially manage, what will our family think what will my friends think, all these feelings that over whelmed me and kept me stuck and unhappy, I kept buying the promise of I promise this time I will change, and each time it didn't happen I was even more despairing and I asked myself what I can possibly do to change things that will make it better for everyone, I thought I have to follow through with a boundary, to be honest it's quite funny because as the same old same old came out of my mouth he smirked, and I said this is for real, I promise you this is the straw that broke the camels back. So it's gone from friendly chatter to anger to being resonable and back and forth, and so I said get a solicitor, he said but I don't want this you are making me do this, I said I am not strong enough to make you do anything, and so he went, I was that busy yesterday I forgot and since he has withdrawn all money now I need to work and work fast, I was on the phone all morning getting nowhere, but I did ask god please help me.
I phoned this agency and she said we will send you an application I said noooooooo, I want work now do you want staff or not, she said let me put you onto the manager, the manager explained we usually vet you then invite you along for an interview, I said I know but I filled in tons and never heard back I am here now with free time on my hands it's such a waiste, she said look we are running a training programme tomorrow could you go? you bet I said, so I am going and we get a dinner too, yay thanks god he won't see me starve, then not ten minutes later the phone rings look I know it's last minute, but could you come and have an interview now, yay oh yes I can, so I did it all wrong road around, but I have had my interview now and filled in all documents to be able to start as soon as.
Just shows pesistance pays off, and I am really not trying to convey the message that you should leave a marriage, but I spent so many miserable days of my life getting nowhere and worrying and driving myself insane, when I got busy I seem to have made progress, not perfection but I am ok and it came from nowhere, I am blessed!
atta girl , with or without them we need to be independent and what it does for our self esteem and selfworth is truly -- pricless good luck hope u get the job .
Katy....Aloha!! and you had strength and courage left and used it for yourself, your own good and growth. Such a great message. Keep your eyes and ears open and don't step out of your HP's light. ((((hugs))))
