The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For a long time, before Al-Anon, I would often find myself in situations where I'd feel emotionally awful. When those feelings would emerge, I'd get mad and impatient with myself and try to find something - anything - to distract me so I wouldn't feel that way any longer. I would continue to feel "off" for probably a couple days, despite finding other things to occupy my mind.
With Al-Anon, I've been learning to allow my feelings to take place when they happen, and instead of ignoring them or distracting myself from them and pushing them down, I let my body go through its natural course more and more often.
Saturday was the official moving day for me - I moved into my new bachelorette pad and spent my first evening without my soon ex-AH. All day I was busy with the moving and the trying to unpack stuff. I felt overwhelmed and closed in by all the boxes. The cable wasn't working just yet, so there were no distractions, and I was getting fed up with trying to figure out where to stick all my stuff.
Finally, I just realized how alone I was feeling at the time, and instead of just pushing through it, I allowed the tears to come and I just sat there and had a good cry, talking to my Higher Power all the while, voicing my anguish. I can tell you I felt so much better after I allowed myself the cry. I was able to move forward afterwards, actually feeling a bit reassured.
It was nice to let it all out so I could proceed with my evening without feeling stressed and miserable. Very grateful I learned that in this program. I don't need to stuff my feelings... it doesn't do me any good, and really only delays the inevitable. Maybe this is also like the garden analogy, too... if I let my emotions take their course while they're fresh and a little more manageable, I'm less likely to blow my top and feel totally terrible by continually suppressing them until something just sets me off.
Aloha Kelly...It does work when you work it and you're working it good. You get to keep it also by bringing it here so we can have it and that's a gratitude.
You are not alone. Many of us are by ourselves. Myself, not by choice, but I am coping. I cry all the time. Not so much any more. It helps knowing that others are alone.
Sounds like we are in similar boats, floating down the same river. I've been getting my clothes out of my car and they all smell like my home that I share with my soon EXABF. It makes it hard to let go.
I just saw on your profile how cross-talk was triggering you in some way. I'm new to this and I hope what I just posted did not bring your mood down. If it's any consolation, what you wrote has made me feel less alone.
