The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
3 days ago 2 people we know manipulated their way into staying at our house for a week or 2. After them staying with us for 2 days and thinking about the situation I did something about it. It was very uncomfortable for me to speak up and put my foot down but I did it.
I talked to the woman and told her I felt they were taking advantage of us. Did not take them long to move back out. I knew we were being played and I had to do what was right for us.
For a long time I felt so lonely and depressed. I believe this was a sign from HP and going tru the experience of being done that way by those people I have a newfound contentment in my life.
I am thankful for the experience. I do not constantly have to have people around me to be happy. I need my peace and serenity and really appreciate my real friends.
I don't know if I had been able to speak up for myself the way I did without alanon.
buick
-- Edited by buick23 on Wednesday 30th of June 2010 04:04:07 PM
-- Edited by buick23 on Wednesday 30th of June 2010 04:04:59 PM
Most members in Al-anon have some of the same characteristics....... being a giver is one of them, it seems to be in our genes. That is a good thing, except there are "takers" & "users" in the world also who at times play our "giver traits" against us to their advantage. Helping someone who needs help and enabling someone is much different. You recognized the difference and took action.
Good for you. Your program taught you to take care of yourself first, and that is exactly what you did.
Aloha Buick...I remember reading something the ODAAT that went, "Courage is fear that has said its prayers". I heard it again when I read your post. ((((hugs))))
Awesome work there, sugar! Before alanon I didnt not usually stand up for myself either. In program I found phrases to use for myself so that I could stand up for me. one being, if I dont stand up for me, who will? If not now, when? I agree with Katy, when we respect us enough to stand up for ourselves, others respect us for it, too. And even if they dont, if I follow thru for me, then I have more respect for me and that is all that matters. (If others dont have respect for me, it is likely they dont respect themselves).
I really like my alone time now too - peace and quiet instead of screaming is some difference! I'm so grateful I am not in that situation anymore.
I am so glad u are doing what is best for you and your family and not being taken for granted by others is a fantastic step in the right direction. I'm so glad you're here! tc! love, hugs
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I've missed you. Good to see you on here replying to my post. Yes I've asked myself the question if I don't stand up for me who will? My bf was supposed to talk to his friend about it but passed it on to me so I talked to the friends girlfriend. When the girlfriend called her boyfriend about this he would not talk to my bf about it.
I really don't care what they think of me. I don't take care of others anymore. I will help people out if they are sincere and as long as it doesn't interfere with my life. Guess red flags are there for a reason.
Thanks everyone for your replies. Reassurance is always good.
