The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to look at an apartment yesterday. It's perfect for me and my cat. It's inexpensive so I could afford it while I am in nursing school. I have the money to get it. Today I tore up the application and now I wish I wouldn't have.
I just don't know why this decision is so hard. What am I hanging on for? So we can fight again. I can watch him get so stoned he can't keep his eyes open and feel totally frustrated. So I can wonder if the rent is going to be paid?
He works out of town so I get a repreve four days a week. I remember what it was like before and find I can't leave. If I look at how now...well I don't need to explain. I just can't figure out why I am allowing myself to live like this. I have been using some of the suggestions and things get better for a minute. I will keep attending meetings. I start my new job tomorrow and that makes me sooo happy.
Things are getting better and somethings are taking a bit more time...hmmm sounds like slogans are working. Change doesn't happen over time Carol especially when it is change that is much different than from what you have become habitually attached to. One day at a time, One step at a time follow the suggestions which come from the winners. The car is stuck in the mud and the tires are spinning and slinging mud all over and there is still gas in the tank and the rain is stopping. Easy does it and let us help you get the car out. In support. ((((hugs))))
You gotta also know that there probably was more than just one application.
-- Edited by Jerry F on Tuesday 29th of June 2010 07:08:54 PM
-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 30th of June 2010 12:39:26 AM
Hello Carol , sometimes no decission is a decission , to stay put and just be.. Obviously the time is not right for you , when it is u will know , when its time to go or its ok to stay right where you are . Easy does it and take care of you..
Congratulations and good luck with your first day at your new job tomorrow!
When I was going thru the roughest part of my divorce and also the roughest part of my growing awareness of how much I had changed and did not really know myself anymore there were times I had no idea what decisions to make. Thankfully, as Abbyal said, sometimes choosing not to make a decision is a decision. A friend told me that at times when I was not able to decide that options would change or become not available leaving me with clear answers eventually, even if I got them by not deciding anything. There were a few cases this worked in my favor, and a few cases it may not have but I like where I am today and all those decisions and nondecisions got me here. Talking to my HP and sometimes feeling that "this is it" serenity and certainty is amazing and one of the top things i am grateful for when it happens. I send you my best wishes and prayers where ever your decisions lead
Hi ((((Carol)))) I'll be thinking of you today as you start your new job. I hope it goes well! I know it may not seem like much, but I am very glad to hear you say that "things get better for a minute"! Maybe by today, things will be getting better for TWO minutes! Baby steps.........don't know about you, but I am not a real patient person and that's been one of the hardest things for me to learn!
I liked JerryF's analogy about the car stuck in the mud. Makes me feel good to know I'm no longer 'spinning my wheels' alone!
We are here for you, Carol, and we do care. Keep us up-dated!
Thinking of you,
Denise
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"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
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"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
Hope you had a good day at your new job As far as decision making goes. You will make the right decision for yourself when you are ready and you will know when that is. Forcing decisions often lead us in the wrong direction so be easy on yourself and trust your instincts. Blessings in recovery
I went to look at an apartment yesterday. It's perfect for me and my cat. It's inexpensive so I could afford it while I am in nursing school. I have the money to get it. Today I tore up the application and now I wish I wouldn't have. 