Talking to my father - Al-Anon Family Group

fadedvintage · Newbie

Talking to my father

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

HI FadedVintage

Great sign in name by the way. Welcome to MIP and alanon.

I understand your situation and wanted to tell you you are not alone and that there is help. Your therapist is correct in the statement that living with alcoholism is very destructive and that it would be helpful for you to attend alanon.

Help in finding alanon meetings in your community can be accessed by

By going to the following link:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

And placing your cursor over about us in the upper left of the screen, 3 more pull downs open.

One of these is information for the newcomer, and the second is Al-Anon for you; both have good information.We have on line meetings here 2xs a day and a 24/7 chat available.

Alanon believes that alcoholism is a disease that we did not cause, cannot control and can not cure. We can learn constructive tools of living life, taking care of ourselves in a postive assertive manner.

Please share, chat and join us in our recovery from living with this disease

-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 28th of June 2010 07:07:18 AM

Bettina · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome FadedVintage..

You would really benefit by going to an alanon meeting along with our miracles in progress board.

Alanon is for the spouses and family members of active alcholics. As you know living with an active drinker is very devastating, baffling and cunning.

The have a saying in Alanon, "one day at time", when your ready you will be able to comfortably sit down with your Dad, to let him know your feelings. But do know there is nothing we can do to make the alcholic quit drinking. They have to want to...but we can get help for ourselves and create boundaries for better living.

Please keep coming back. Wishing you courage and wisdom. Luv, Bettina

xeno59 · ~*Service Worker*~

Faded
Welcome to MIP You are in the right place. Your counsler is very smart to guide you to alanon. If there are face to face meetings availble to you I would strongly recommed that you go. You will find the support and understanding that you need.
We also have meetings here online that are awesome.
I am not sure I agree with talking with your father while he is sober about his actions and how they are affecting you. I mean you can do it but it has been my experience that alcholics/addicts are perfectly aware of how thier actions affect people and talking with them really doesn't help them along in getting sober. But if you need to get it off your chest and it makes you feel better than by all means do it.
Right now it is time to start taking care of you and I would encourage mom to attend alanon meetings with you. She is in as much need as you are
When I first came to alanon I thought they would tell me how to "fix" my son who is an addict, thats what I was looking for. When I found out alanon was about fixing me ( because we become just as sick as our alcholic) I almost left... but i stuck it out and am ever so gratful that I did, cause I was very sick ( mind and thinking wise). So please give it time, it's no quick fix it's alot of work sometimes but so worth it.
Blessings to you

tlcate · Senior Member

Welcome to MIP, FadedVintage.

Here is a good post about what to expect at your first Al-Anon meeting:

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?aBID=42727&p=3&topicID=25975815

As for talking to your Dad, time focusing on your healing and how to deal with alcoholism will lead you to the answer that works best for you. You will know when it is time or that it is not a good idea for you.

You are in the right place, please keep coming back.

tlc

-- Edited by tlcate on Monday 28th of June 2010 11:11:02 AM

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.