The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH recently weaned himself off clonazepam. He was prescribed this ten years ago and it was upped to 4 mg/day. We are finding out that this drug has a lot of negatives for those who are on it long term. I would like to hear from anyone who has experience in this area.
Since weaning himself there have been positives: He is the man I married in many ways, he is kind, loving, he is a dedicated Dad, he is helping around the house, sleeping much less, exercising, eating better, can concentrate better, treats me well, etc.
There have been negatives and I am upset about them, not knowing if they are temporary, etc. He keeps questioning me on things form the past. he can't remember them clearly and when I can't answer him (I honestly don't remember), he gets upset and appears to think I am hiding things. He says he doesn't blame me for doing certain things in the past (like tracking his spending), but expects me to remember every detail from the past ten years, which is impossible. I feel like I am walking on eggshells. He recently moved back home after a two months separation. I find myself fighting panic attacks and being very emotional. Sometimes he will ask me about a statement I made weeks ago during the separation and ask me to clarify it. When I can't he accuses me of lying about what I have said in the past. I am worried that he is undergoing withdrawl and part of it is true paranoia. It's very strange and unsettling. He treats me like gold, but then throws a question at me that is very weird. Yesterday he asked me why I was looking at him funny! I wasn't!
Anyways, any help you can give me would be appreciated.
I"m so pleased to read this and be able to offer my encouragement. Perhaps if you stop and let him know you hear him. Some less "cold" version of I hear you saying....you seem to be feeling.... I really love you and value you and don't want you to feel anything bad... I'm so sorry I really don't remember what I said at that time but I promise you right now I feel very happy to be with you and want to ( validate whatever it is he's feeling ) and reassure him that you don't have that negative intent at this time and or don't think you would have had a negative intent at that time--- Maybe he's not really wanting to know the answer to those specific questions but needs to be reassured for a while- of course if you happen to remember it would seem nice to me to answer the question and then also reassure him.
At least till his body adjust and maybe forever.... If you want to or can or think it best???
-- Edited by glad on Sunday 27th of June 2010 02:26:30 PM
Im not a Dr. or professional, but my brother was on valium for many years and went off cold turkey and had a break down, because he couldnt handle being off the valium because they found out later that he had a chemical inbalance and prescribed something else for him which he has been taking ever since and he has been fine.
Long term drug use or alcohol can bring on bizarre behavior or paranoia. Is he under a Drs. care.? You should discuss it with them. Sounds like your husband could be suffering from other things and needs a correct diagnosis.
I am not a doctor but am a survivor of PPD (post pardum depression) it was left untreated and I ended up trying to take my life and was placed in the hospital in a mental ward. Four years later and I am healthy and happy and ready to start dealing with my issues around my AH. I was on 6 medications. One of those medication is Ativan. It is a very powerful Benzodiazepine. I currently only take my anti-depressent at a very low dose and Ativan 1mg once a day for sleep if I need it. I was taking it at 4mg a day along with anti-phys. meds, sleeping medication.
I share this because some mental illiness can be temporary or long term. I was also in therapy for 3 years. I had to work the program. Medication without any therapy for me was like trying to clean a stream from pollution without every going to the source. It could be "diluted" but never cleaned without going to the source of the problem. I looked to my husband for the therapy and the reassurance that I so desperately needed. I needed someone that I was not emotional connected to, to talk to that could give me another way at looking at things.
There are side effects from coming off medication, but in my experience with getting off the 4 medication I was on and weaning down to the two I remain on was that the side effects did not last more than 10 days. That was for me. He has been on them for a long time and this family of drug is very addictive. You get use to being numb that when you come off everthing feels so strong and real. It is a very scary thing. It is like everything in your life has been turned up. The edges of your reality are very raw.
Not sure how long it has been but if he is still "looking to you for the therapy" he might want to get into some group therapy or one on one. A family doctor is really not trained to prescribe what they do. They are just treating a symptom and not the problem. In fact when I became very suicidal was when my OBGYN put me on Lexapro and did not tell me that my anxiety would get worse for 2 weeks. I was already so anxious that my thoughts became intrusive. It was not the medication but the lack of education and intervention that cause my anxiety to get so high. I do not blame the medication and know that with the medication (for me) and the therapy I am a new person. It was ultimately my HP that saved my life in the end.
I hope some of this can help you. Everything is temporary but God's love.
My A has been on high doses of benzodiazepines for five years and is being weaned of them for the last six months.To say that the A has become paranoid may be an understatement.I am constantly being accused of plotting against her and not being honest.I know exactly what you are going through.I can only place her recovery in my HPs hands and hope as the drugs residual effects ware off she will she will return to her old self.Till then I continue to reassure her and give her my love.With the help of the MIP and AL-ANON I am working on healing myself. This support has helped immensely.Know that you are not alone!
