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My hubby was an admitted alcoholic for the past 10 years or so. He recently weaned himself off of clonazepam (this experience is an entire other post and I would be happy to hear from anyone who has weaned themselves off a drug like this). One of the many negative effects of a benzodipene (sp?), is that it increases your craving for alcohol. Yesterday he stated that he believes he was never an alcoholic. Since he was a "normal" drinker for years (I agree with him here) and didn't overdrink until after starting clonazepam (I agree again), he strongly feels the clonazepam caused it (!!!!????). I am not sure why, but this statement terrified me. He says that every story at his AA involves someone being an alcoholic pretty much from the time they tool their first drink. Does he have a valid point? Why does his statement make me physically ill?
In my humble opinion.... does he have a valid point?? Nope. Sounds like alcoholic babble for "I never really believed I was an alcoholic and I want the go-ahead to drink again"..... this excuse just happens to have fancy words to spice it up a bit....
Alcoholics come in all shapes and sizes..... some are there from their first drink, others 'grow into it', there is no one unique formula....
Just my two cents
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
It may scare you because you believe he got help from AA and now may suffer if he drops out. My old sponsor might suggest letting him think it through and not over reacting, hopefully if he is in AA he has a sponsor and will say this to them and they will be more mature in the program and have a very good answer? I would encourage you to turn this over to your higher power even down to the detail of what you may need to say in response to him.
I agree with Canadian Guy, some are alcoholics from their first drink, other "cross the line" later on. Doesn't matter. I say... why risk it? If you feel you may have a drinking problem, DON'T DRINK. That way you don't have to worry about it. If you aren't, no big deal. If you are, you just opened a whole 'nother can of worms and it could be years before they decide to try sobriety again.
my a,never had a drink problem unti he was 55yrs old,he is now 61,since then he has had all the alcoholics behaviour,so my answer would have to be yes,it can happen at any time of life. i had 34 yrs of a good marriage,now we aproaching our 40th,our marriage is in bits. love ollie x
My beloved Tim was what I call a late blooming alcoholic. If you accept the premise that alcoholism runs in families, then he certainly was one. His father was an alcoholic, now 30+years sober. I knew Tim in college and he barely drank. Once in a blue moon he would do the typical college thing and drink heavily on a weekend, but that was rare. Even his doctors in rehab said that it was good thing he had started later in life otherwise he would have dead sooner than later.
Tim was on clonazepam. He had to be for his spinning thoughts & other issues. When Tim was drinking heavily & I had to throw him out of the house he spiraled down that week. He was admitted to the hospital & a doctor decided to take him off of it. I told him not to until he talked to his pyshchiatrist who was in the building across the street. He did it anyway & Tim ended up having some very serious seizures. We took that doctor off of the case & he was put back on it. Tim's drug of choice was never perscription drugs (he hated taking them) it was always alcohol.
Having said all this, addicts will make up any excuse they can. The problem for Tim was that he was too smart. He had a disease and he accepted that. But he also overthought everything. He made pharmacetucals. He could beat this disease. He overthought everything that was said in AA & his counceling sessions. I remember his psychiatrist (who was gem) saying to me that she wished he would dumb down things to make it easier on himself! Amen to that. Addicts don't need an excuse to drink. They drink and drug because they are addicts.
My biggest fear was that when Tim started drinking again, he would isolate because he was so ashamed. He was one of those who couldn't do it without the help of AA. He couldn't bear to go to AA because he thought everyone would talk about him. (The man suffered terribly from low self asteem.) I offered to bring AA to him. He didn't bite. He isolated. He drank. Ironically, this didn't kill him. I have no doubt that it would have.
The fear of the unknown & the helplessness we feel when they make statements like yours did, is why I thank HP for this program. It saved my life. All you can do is turn him over to his HP and let him do what he has to. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
