The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I'm finally learning to let go of the AH..........I love him enough to let him go, because my life has been unmanagable for the past 5 years.....
I know I cannot be in control, but I know that I do want a managable, PRODUCTIVE life...I want to be healthy in mind for my children,....I know I'm not perfect, but I do not want my little girl to think she should put up when things when she is older nor my boy to treat women as AH has. ..as they say "One Day at a time"
Just for today, I will be gentle with myself and others......and Yes! I'm proud of myself :) - I've nagged nonstop for the past 5 days (I havn't been practicing program in a while shamefully), and when I caught myself wanting to nag today, I asked myself.......Is it worth it???? (and I'm laughing so hard right now!....:D because it really does work to keep coming back. Although not quite yet to where I desire to be, I already feel very serene without even trying.
Wow! May my HP bless this program, always! It really does wonders whether we see it or not. :) Today I'm also extremeley thankful for my friends in Al-Anon. We are each others biggest support. It's like that saying: "We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another"
I'll be communicating on here a whole lot more.....for the mean time, I need program as much as possible - Rosie - Thank you*
P.S. I had a face to face with my sponser to day as well (finally!) It was on denail.....and I learned something great: It's ok to NOT be in denial.....it's almost like we chose to.
Rosie, Your post reminds me of one of my three favorite slogans "How Important Is It". My other two favorites "Don't React" and "When In Doubt Don't ". I found a way to put them in one sentence and it has saved my serenity many times......"When In Doubt How Important Is It To Not React".
You are doing a good job of taking care of yourself first, and your children will reap the benefits.
It really is a mile stone when we can declare that our lives have become unmanageable and we truly are helpless against this disease. No amount of nagging, whining, screaming is going to change anything. It is just the the manner of the beast of alcoholism. It truly is one day and a time. A person asked me last night (who is in crisis) "how do you manage?" I told him again, that I am good today and I can't worry about tomorrow. If we do, then we become as insane as the active A. I personally can't take that journey again. I am living for today and tomorrow will have to take care of itself. Keep working the program, it truly does work. We are all so lucky that this program is out here for all of us. Peace to you.
Yay for you, Rose! My sponsor tells me to practice detachment ... I practice it because I'm never going to do it perfectly, but I can learn to do it better!
