The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am having a really bad day today! Since the beginning of this week I have had a bunch of reasons to cry & I do mean cry! I am losing my serenity & don't know what to do!
So much is going on that I feel trapped in my head & can't get out!
This week has been pretty difficult because the plumber called early Mon. morning & woke us up! Mind you I knew he was going to call. It just started a week of anxiety & somewhat sleep deprived nights with restlessness & tossing & turning! The old tapes keep running through my head, too! I am convinced this week that I am not good enough & that I don't feel that I have a place in this world. I do have lots of friends & support but today it feels like no one can make it go away! I know that no one can logically but in my heart I can see nothing but sadness right now!
I am not going to get involved with a poor-me state though. I guess I just need a little cry time. I have been in public all day & of course can't cry in public! what does that mean? I don't feel that people will get me today! Actually a very nice lady gave me words of encouragement & reminded me to keep the faith in so many words!
How can I get back track on my program when there are so many obstacles & such deep sadnesss & exhaustion! I actually have a bad case of insomnia since I was 19 & now I am almost 44! Long story short: I have been suffering from of bad case of no-sleep disease!
There are lots of people who care in my life like I said earlier! Actually, my mom is here in the library waiting for me to finish this so we can have some MOM & ME time!
My husband is trying to be supportive; thank God I have a husband in recovery! He has been doing OK--he even went to an AA meeting last night & I was OK but the tears we flowing when he left!
I'm so sorry you're having a cry day, as I call them. There must be something floating around today. I've been weepy too. Some family situations in my life that I normally can let go of and handle very well for some reason today keep running thru my head and the tears start flowing. Just want you to know if I could stretch that far I'd be giving you a big hug
Aloha Kathleen...yeah that trapped feeling use to bring me down also until I got good sponsorship and learned stuff like balancing the poor me's and pity potting with lists of gratitude and positive motivational reading. Interestingly my sponsor also told me about scheduling my downer times...both when I practice it and for how long. Sounded kinda quirky but what the hell I was open to anything instead of depression and feeling dead. I learned to actually schedule my down time like at around 2 pm in the after noon and for 15 or 20 minutes at a time. It all helped and now my down time isn't very long at all and/or often. Today I am grateful for thousands of things which are just in my life without my effort or intention.
In support ((((hugs)))) (keep the smile on your face at all times and practice looking like everyday is your birthday. Actually since we only do the program one day at a time every day is our birthday. Attitudes of Gratitudes
Sometimes the best thing to do when those feelings come is to let them come. Have a good cry. Get mad if you want to. We all have those days. I've had more than my share as of late. But I have learned to let them come. I feel my way through it. It's hard. However once those feelings are out of me, I feel much better. You will too. All will be well, just try to breathe through it. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I am having a really bad day today! Since the beginning of this week I have had a bunch of
