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I have been in Alan-on inconsistently since early 80's. Sometimes comfortable and sometimes not. What's the deal with the Lord's prayer as "Alan-on is not allied with any sect, DENOMINATION, political affiliation institution or organization". It was recently brought up in meetings and some people's reasons for keeping it boardered on inappropriate. Yes, it says "if you choose to participate" however, when you don't it's generally awkward. I was sucessfully able to deal with it for years, but no longer.
The lords prayer is a choice that groups make practicing autonomy , they can do what they choose if they have a group concience ,majority rules ... When I arrived here yrs ago a prayer of any kind was offensive to me -- so I stepped out side the circle when a meeting opened or closed with the serenity prayer no one told me I had to do what they did . I personally dont l ike the lords prayer either so i dont say it but today I can hold hands and stay in the circle , progress ---- If at the next business meeting someone brings it up again they can hold a group concience anonymously , thier is the serenity prayer , the Al-Anon declaration let it begin with me .. give everyone a piece of paper and pencil a simple yes or no vote works and no knows who voted for what . works like a charm .
-- Edited by abbyal on Tuesday 8th of June 2010 09:27:28 PM
I understand and felt confused by that myself in my home group meetings. I'm not affiliated with a church or faith, but I have a faith in a HP greater than myself.
A little while back I started to think about the words of The Lords Prayer and realized that it's basic message felt right to me, and consistent with my understanding of HP. I realize I do some conversion in my head though....Something like this.....
My HP, who is greater than me, I really believe in you. In your wisdom, please help me meet my basic needs (food, clothing and shelter). I know I'm a screw up sometimes, but so are others, so we'll be kind to each other. Help me avoid the really big mistakes. I really, really believe that this is not in my control. Thanks!
For me, I don't subscribe to any faith and pretty much it is the HP of my not understanding. Many people spend their entire lives searching for God, evidence of God, and I personally have given up the search.
I find this timely. I was having a discussion with a friend not an hour ago about religion. My response was, "I have been to a LOT of different churches trying to find answers. I finally found what I needed in the 12 step program. Spirituality, with myself and the world around me."
I thought it was kind of strange, the Lords Prayer at the end of meetings. But once I became comfortable with me, my fellowship, and my ability to turn things over to "life" - it didn't bother me anymore. I am standing there, holding hands with my fellowship, and all of us are in tune, at the same place at the same time - asking for something better for ourselves and our loved ones in that room. Soon, the awkwardness was gone and it now brings goosebumps. For all I care, we could be speaking in Charlie Brown adult speak - wouldn't matter to me at all.
Sorry it upsets you. Hope it doesn't keep you from the wonderful things the fellowship has to offer.
tlc
__________________
To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
However AA took many things from the Bible and incorporated them into the Big Book. Just search AA and the Bible. Etc.
One day at at time Let go and let God making amends was taken from the Bible.
Being powerless
I think we all would be surprised to know how much of AA, then on to Alanon,Alateen, etc is from and based on Bible principles.
I like the "take what you want and leave the rest." This to me is what makes many comfortable, as no one is expected to accept every part of Al Anon.
We all know we can only change ourselves. Not being in the room until after the prayer is taking care of yourself. I didn't like that group hug thing. Especially when I did not know them.
To me MIP is not alanon. It does not follow many of Al Anon principles. For me I believe it is a great place "for" Al Anoners. It is a place where things are allowed that Al Anon would not, that actually makes it reach more people and allows us to help others.
Since we do have several different beliefs, MIP seems to be getting more accepting of people voicing their own experience with their beliefs.
Thank-you all for responding to my post. I dealt with this issue many years ago and became okay about standing with the group and thinking of my own prayer in my head. At 2 recent group consciences, I found some of the participant's comments insensitive and not fully based in reality. I'm trying to practice "take what you like and leave the rest." These recent events were a setback for me. I did find an ACA group that does not have lords prayer and that doesn't use "He" in the 12 steps. I am more comfortable with that. However, I will let my opinion be known in the other groups. I so appreciate your caring comments. I hope to hear more about this issue.
I don't let anything stand in the way of my recovery. The group is larger and unity more important than my own personal ego and will so the Serenity Prayer and the Lords Prayer are tools to keep me hooked up with my Higher Power which most members would react to with resistance if they thought they had to accept HP as I understand HP...keep in mind where I was born and raised and still live and the culture I choose to live in and you will understand. The most moving payer to a power greater than himself I've ever heard was said by a Blackfoot Indian male member of the Al-Anon Family Groups. Spritually it moved me faster and farther than the Biblical version. My HP loved how that happened as my HP isn't confined by specific interpretations. My HP is concerned with my spiritual, mental, emotional and physical growth and recovery. (((((hugs)))))
For me, it helps to focus on the good and things that help me. For so long I had done the opposite of allowing myself to stumble over those things that I felt I would change. Someone reminded me, take what you like and leave the rest. I remembered if it wasn't there to help me, it may very well help another and who was I to stand in their way.
Hi, When my recent group voted in the group conscious re: the lord's prayer, it was not anonymous. Anyway, I am starting in other groups that are working out well.
I have been in Alan-on inconsistently since early 80's. Sometimes comfortable and sometimes not. What's the deal with the Lord's prayer as "Alan-on is not allied with any sect, DENOMINATION, political affiliation institution or organization". It was recently brought up in meetings and some people's reasons for keeping it boardered on inappropriate. Yes, it says "if you choose to participate" however, when you don't it's generally awkward. I was sucessfully able to deal with it for years, but no longer.
