The material presented
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to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's been a very long time since I have written on this board, but today I find myself in desperate need and I feel very alone. My diabetic AH has been drinking again and I'm having a very hard time with it. Over a year ago, I took our 7 year old son and left for about a month. Without going into all the sorted details, my AH was doing really well. Went through out patient rehab, put on medication and attends AA on weekends that he doesn't have to work. About two months ago, I could tell that he started drinking again. He hides the actual alcohol, but I can tell in his mannerism and his actions that he had been drinking. In his mind, he thinks that he can handle it. But his actions speak otherwise. I don't think that he has ever come to grips that he is a type 1 diabetic (insulin dependent). He has no idea what drinking beer does to him. He is not physically abusive, but is verbally and emotionally. I went to counseling a couple of months ago and I felt that I learned a lot, but when I am put back in the verbal situation, as much as I ignore everything he says (which really makes him mad), I just want to curl up and tell him that he's won and to just leave me alone. Of course, that would give him that much more power over me. If he's not drinking, there is no way that he would come close to some of the things he says to me. Today, I went home for lunch and he was shampooing our carpeting (he is on vacation this week) and I could tell that he had been drinking. Instead of leaving him alone, I started kind of yelling at him and told him that I wanted him to call his doctor and be put on something stronger than what he is on. He just laughed and told me that I was physco. I do have to say that he is good with our son, but today I just can't take it!!!! I feel that I have no power/control whatsoever. I dread going home at the end of the day today because I can only imagine what it is going to be like tonight. The only great thing that I have right now is my son, who doesn't deserve this either.
I read your post. I am so sorry he's acting this way. We KNOW when they are drinking..It's so odd that they THINK they can hide it from those who know them best.
The fact yours has diabetes and the alcohol makes it worse, is sad.
Hang in there. I will pray for you. I have been in a similar situation and not wanting to go home for fear of what I might find.
You have been to this board before and I assume u were informed about the benefit of Al-Anon meetings for yourself , the best way to support our alcoholics is to have our own program , learn all u can about the disesase and how to NOT let it run your life too . Threats dont work , ultimatums dont work , tears dont work . shameing them only make them feel worse and us look like idiots , there is nothing u can do about him . What your doing is not working u have nothing to loose by trying this program , in fact u will be amazed at what u have to gain . Louise
I know that attending face to face meetings would really be beneficial. I don't have any during the week in my area that I can attend because I have to work. One on Saturday mornings that is a drive, but I may have to check it out soon. Thanks.
Help, It would be so beneficial for you to go to a face to face meeting, the drive up and back will be worth it, plus you get to have some alone time away from the A.
The first step we have to really know and feel with our whole being is "We are powerless over the alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable" , this is the first step for the A, also, so if he is powerless over his own addiction, so are we.
The only person that you can help is yourself, your tears, your threats, yelling, will only make you feel bad and give you a headache in the meantime and zap you of your precious energy. Try really following the program, it will be a return to your sanity and serenity.
Also, please keep coming back to the board, and share whatever you feel like sharing.
Wishing you strength, courage, and wisdom. Luv, Bettina
I hear your pain and understand that it may be difficult for you to attend face to face meetings . Pleae know that you are not alone and that help is available.
We have 24/7 chart room available and 2 on line meetings here each day. Please try to attend. Breaking the isolation and sharing is a huge part of obtaining help.
Picking up the alanon tools of: Focusing on Yourself, Living One Day at A Time, Praying, Making a Gratitude List, stopping judging, gossiping and criticism. all help to restore us to sanity.
You deserve help Please keep coming back
-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 8th of June 2010 08:44:39 PM
I also was absolutely over involved with what he did, where he was, what he was doing. I felt my overinvolvement gave me some peace of mind. Certainly it was very very hard to detach.
You are in a great place here. I know of no other board that can help so much.
