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Hello MIP Family :) Sorry been Gone awhile... Wish I could add Some excuse here but there really isn't one, just not on as much I suppose... Change in the weather finally got warm enough for me to move around, but it also left me Wide Open, to resort back to old ways... I Sooo can't wait to get to a FTF This Sun... I haven't been to one in weeks, and boy can I tell..
This Morning when I crawled from bed, I was just miserable.. Didn't like all the things that usually got me out of bed with a smile...I know in my heart that it has Everything to do with my current deal in my weight, I can't get it under control, and even when I know I shouldn't... I do... So I guess I'm Pissed at ME!
So to add insult to injury...I go to work, pissy... Snapped at the boy before school, snapped at a customer, pretty much anyone that looks my way... Finally got a second to get inside my own head, and thought I would grab a Daily reader and that would just pick me up and make it happen... Well... NO!!!! that didn't happen...
It said... List Your 10 Priorities... Then add another colume and right down Were Your Time Goes In a Day! At the End of the day, see the comparissons... OUCH....
Granted, Here the day is fresh, and just beginning, but as I "Project" to the future, I can't even think about 10 Priorities, how can I NOT, I mean I got 1,2,3, down right quick, but in doing so, ALL 3 had NOTHING to do with MY Happiness, but the Happiness of My Family or Taking care of someone else... Now don't get me wrong, being a Good Mom, & Being a Strong/Supporting Wife, & Making Sure My Critters are Takin Care of... All sound like good ones...But I want those things for THEM...
So as I sit this mornig grabbing at Straws, why is it ya think that I keep grabbin the short stick...
Its Friday, so thats Great, the Sun is Out thats Great, I'm still kickin thats great... BUT What is Up...
I walk out side, get some Sun on my face, to try and shake it, close my eyes take it all in, breathing gently, yet hiperventalating all at the same time... I Open My Eyes and there it is..... My Grandma Butterfly!!!! Circling Me...... and in that Very Second... I Caught my breathe, if only for a little while...The air was lighter, the sun gentler, and in an instant... It was GONE Again! My Grandma Always seemed to know when I needed a Hug, and It ALWAYS Worked, but Just for Today... I Guess I am just destined to be Ticked!!!!
Guessin I'm Still Pulling them Straws...All ESH Welcome for I Can't seem to get out of my Own Way!!! Thanks in advance :) Love & Prayers All
I know just how you feel about the weight thing. It consumes me but no matter what I do I cannot "just say no" to whatever it is I want. We both had A fathers. I know my compulsion to overeat is the same as my dad's compulsion to drink. I know in my head that I shouldn't indulge in something but I, too, lose the power to choose not to eat it. I think that is why I cannot get angry with my A son. I know what that compulsion feels like. I cannot stop mine so how can I expect him to stop his.
I am going to pm you with a website that I have been a part of for a long time. It has to do with healing addiction with nutrition. Many of the people also use the 12 steps in addition to this.
Granted, Here the day is fresh, and just beginning, but as I "Project" to the future, I can't even think about 10 Priorities, how can I NOT, I mean I got 1,2,3, down right quick, but in doing so, ALL 3 had NOTHING to do with MY Happiness, but the Happiness of My Family or Taking care of someone else... Now don't get me wrong, being a Good Mom, & Being a Strong/Supporting Wife, & Making Sure My Critters are Takin Care of... All sound like good ones...But I want those things for THEM...
...
(((Jozie)))
It sounds as if you ar in a difficult space. When I find myself in that spot I need to be very gentle with me. Make sure I do not get too hungry, angry lonely or tired. I just need to accept that for today I am in a funk and more will be revealed.
I do know that I have heard and truly believe that 7 days makes a week and for me 7 days without a a meeting makes me weak. I know the change of seasons are hard on me and the added stress of trying to shed some weight adds to the pain I try not to have the offending food in the house and that helps .
I stopped smoking a year ago and tried not to substitute food for smoking Even with my very best efforts I have gained 10 pounds and cannot lose it. Dr is not helping said it is due to metabolism and to eat less I practically eat nothing as it is so I think I have turned it over to HP and asked for help I f I could stop smoking after 40 years I should be able to do this weight thing You have grown so fast since we first met on this board I know you will continue on your path and the light will shine againe
. I know the change of seasons are hard on me and the added stress of trying to shed some weight adds to the pain I try not to have the offending food in the house and that helps .
and tried not to substitute food for smoking Even with my very best efforts I have gained 10 pounds and cannot lose it. Dr is not helping said it is due to metabolism and to eat less I practically eat nothing as it is