The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I know my A boyfriends behavior is his own and I am supposed to focus on me and mind my own business but I'm having a hard time right now. The sneaking around the house hiding his alcohol and thinking I don't know what is going on (when he carries a bucket from the car to the shed so I can't see what is in it) is really getting old. I can't stand dishonest behavior and I know this comes with the disease but right now I'm just so irritated with it all and can't seem to get past it. I know focus on me and the kids not on him I'm trying god knows I'm trying.........
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You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.
I understand your frustration. I always thought I was angry about the lying, then I was angry that anyone thought I was that oblivious to what was happening, finally and even now I know I was/am just angry. Less so now thankfully, letting go of that energy is one of the hardest lessons for me to improve at. I keep practicing and have focused my anger towards the disease rather than the person or action that triggered my anger most of the time. Focusing on yourself and your children is a great alternative, sometimes all it takes is to find a way to laugh a little and my whole day can change.
It's at those times when I feeling the way you are now that I get my behind to a face to face meeting. It's nice to be with people who feel the same way. I always walk away feeling better about things. I may complain all the way there and think that I am not going to be in good mood to do this. I like to call it my Lucy mood. Sure enough I sit there in the meeting, feeling grouchy, annoyed and all that "fun" stuff convinced that this couldn't possibly help. As always Alanon proves me wrong. I walk out feeling better and knowing that I can handle whatever life throws at me. Try it for yourself.
Hang in there. We may not have any control over our As but we do have control over how we react to it. Love and blessings to you.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
