The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Are there any other adult kids of verbally abusive/negative alcoholic mothers out there? I have lots of issues. She is bringing up stuff from 25-30 yrs ago when I was a teen. Fights with her. Anger with my father right before divorce. Saying I shouldn't love him because she doesn't. Saying I hate her when I love her and have had to cut myself off from her to keep my sanity. Lots more.
I don't think she was a drinker back then but she was hard on me. It's so bad right now but much now since I have told her I need time and am not answering her emails.
Just needed to find a place I can go with people who understand. I hope this is it. I am lost.
I have more...just in the mood now to express. So, my mom has accused me of hating her and loving my dad. Love them both. Dad and I had issues for about 6 months 25 yrs ago but we have been very close after that. I think Mom feels she can buy my love, has expectations that she can be so mean to me but I have to forgive/forget.
She attempted suicide last fall with alcohol and pills but just got detox and back home. Went to AA for a couple of months but now drinks out and at home. Stepfather is enabler. Never stopped drinking, taking her to bars/social clubs. I recently told her I was dissappointed in him for allowing her to talk to me the way she has and for not being strong about the alcoholism.
I have had to take some time for me and my family. I have heavy stuff happening here too. I have asked her to seek counceling again(she did last year) and then we can talk.
I'm sorry you are having to go through this situation with your Mom. It's important to realize the disease is in control and doing the talking. The disease has to blame someone else. In this case that is you. The three C's come to mind...You didn't cause her disease, you can't control her disease, and you can't cure her disease. The only thing you can do is take care of yourself. That can be done by placing boundaries to protect yourself. By detaching from the situation to save your sanity and your senerity. If we don't distance ourself form the disease it will make us as crazy and insane as it does the alcoholic.
Please start attending Al-Anon meetings in your area. Times and places can be fornd in your local phone book, it's the best thing you cn do for yourself. You will find the help and support you need in the rooms of Al-Anon.
I'm glad you are here, keep coming back......but most important......You are not alone anymore.
Thank you RLC. I feel this will be good for me. Until you see that others are going through their own stuff, similar to yours, you/I feel so alone. I know have a great support system at home with husband and father but I needed more. Thanks again
Cute, You've found a new and caring family. Get involved in the program and start your recovery....you deserve it. Not being alone anymore is a feeling that's hard to explain....I know I found it here and in the rooms of Al-Anon.
