The material presented
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My AH hasn't eaten any solid food now for over 4 weeks. He looks dreadful - skeletal and and awful grey colour. (Maybe tinged with yellow but that maybe because I'm watching for it). He ought to be hospitalised on a drip but the NHS (we're in UK), I have learnt, just doesn't do alcoholism. It appears to be a sin and A's deserve what happens to them. (As do their nearest and dearest) He looks like someone in end stage cancer - but if it was cancer both he and I would get some support. I am watching him fade away before my eyes and it seems no-one gives a damn. 3 weeks ago he had a scan and blood tests. What on earth for, I have to ask? It showed an enlarged cirrhotic liver and blood results off the scale. The doctor who gave us this news said to AH - "You have to give up drinking, you know". (Oh that's easy, then - we'll do that!)
I have been off work for last 4 weeks with stress (1st time in 45 years of work that I have been off with stress - I'm hardly ever off sick with anything). I'm going back next week because I cannot stay off for ever. I suppose next time it will be compassionate leave because he has died - wonder if anyone will bother about us then
((((((Tattyhead))))) I'm so sorry for what you are going through. The feelings of frustration and hopelessness just comes back in a rush. I understand your pain. It would be such a wonderful thing if the medical profession was FORCED to treat the A's with dignity and compassion. It would be so awesome to have the feeling that somebody cared and would treat the disease and the effects of it. There are a few that do. Try to get to an Alanon meeting and take extra special care of you. Even a few minutes a day, try to do something peaceful and serene FOR YOU. This disease is deadly to the user and the ones around them. I will keep you and yours in my prayers and hope for the best.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Just offering my support and a few small insights on how I handled the late stages for my own AH. I agree with all the other replies about not losing site of your own recovery. You'll need it to help keep you sane as this insidious disease hurts all of us.
The other things I did for my AH during late stages were to offer him unconditional love-to let him know that I cared for him, and know who he is under the disease. I also encouraged him to take a multi-vitamin and high doses of vitamin B. The liver problems can interfere with fat-soluble vitamin absorption, and the brain needs them for normal functioning. Finally, not sure if you have either home hospice or home nursing care in the UK. Your AH does sound very late stage and you may be able to make his last weeks/months more comfortable, as well as ease your stress a little with something like that?
I will keep you, your son and your AH in my prayers.
Dear Tish......Im so sorry. I know exactly where you're coming from re NHS.......compassion and understanding?............rare as hen's teeth. Please take care of you, and keep coming back here where compassion and understanding abound.
