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called the cops on my h yesterday over verbal abuse of our son... I am in a trance... VEry confused.. a mixture of emotions... part of me wants to beg him to change into waht I want and the other just feels incredibly sad. As it stands now he is moving on 6/12.
I'm sorry I had to do this myself over a month ago!
You had to do what you had to do to protect your son you should be really proud of yourself..... HP had to step in to say enough is enough!!!
I know your probably feeling confused and guilty but I'm slowly understanding when this happens the diease has the upper hand and that is not fair to you nor your son!
Living with this has been a roller coaster ride that I so needed to get off of... The ride is slowing down but i'm learing it takes A LOT of effort for it to stop~
Hope you feel better you did the right thing!
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Courage is not a roar. Sometimes Courage is the small voice at the end of the day that says "I'll try again tomorrow"
I'm sorry you are experiencing this right now. I too had those 2 sides of me, 1 wanting to beg for him to change and I wanted to believe it. The other just numb and horribly sad. Those feelings are conflicting and dificult to deal with. Take good care of yourself in every way you can. I do not have children and I know my idea of the pain caused by watching this disease affect them probably does not even come close to how painful it is to make the best decisions for their sake. I give you and all the moms out there who are trying to educate and protect them from it so much credit. You are in my prayers.
(((((AngelB))))) you did good. It's not easy at first and it is right. You would have done the same thing if it had been me abusing your son and yourself. It doesn't matter who the abuser is it is the abuse that has to stop. (((hugs)))
Angel every time I had to make AH leave it was from abuse. I was allowing him to be here only when he was appropriate. Squeezed all the good time I could.
You did right. We have to protect our children at all costs. Not just our children, all kids.
When ya feel wierd about it, I invite you to put back in your head him abusing.
When I start getting sappy bout my almost ex ah, I remember how he cared about everything else more than his son. that does it for me!
Hugs hon. that is awhile to go yet. Praying you can stay strong. I hope you have a plan of escape in case things go sour.
Do you have needs outside somewhere or at a neighbors? extra car keys, bit of money, phone numbers as when it is scarey like that you may be confused.
I will never forget when AH was awful to me. Broke things, tossed my keys, got my cell phone and thru it into the wall.
I ran and hid, had my purse, got out the extra key and took off. Went to verizon soaking wet crying, they gave me a phone asap. went to my bank and they helped me too.
People are there for you hon and here. debilyn who does not miss drama!
No one, absolutely no one has to stand for or accept abuse be it verbal or physical. It is totally uncalled for in any situation. You took care of yourself and your son, don't even consider second guessing yourself. When abuse is involved it's simple---always do the next right thing. You did---good for you.
As it stands right now, we are taking it odat to see if we can make this owrk. He and our son made huge leaps and bounds today... How do I handle the people who cannot beleive I allowed him back in the house....
(((((Angel)))))), What those people think of you are none of your business. I know much easier said that done. I heard a lot of comments throughout my almost 13 year marriage to my "A" and sometimes it was a lot of work to not take those comments personal.
You are doing what you think is best for you and your family. You called the police once already and that will help give you the strength to do it again if you have to.
Stay strong angel and remember we are here for you.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
(((Ange))) Mandy is right - this is your business, nobody else's. Only you know what is best for you and your family.
I have lost count of the number of times I have been told I should leave my AH - but, no, rightly or wrongly, I am still with him even though it breaks my heart to watch him deteriorate almost daily, it seems. But - my decision - right for me - I think!
Hope all goes well for you - you are in my thoughts and prayers
