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In previous post I've explained the situation with my daughter having seizures, hospital visits and doctors appts... I've had to take a lot of time off of work (we just merged with another company so I have to apply for my position again)..
Of course when it rains it pours - My daughters sitter husband feel ill so I had take off for a week in the beginning of April since he was hospitalized. I get a phone call last night that she isn't able to watch the kids today apparently he took a turn for the worse and got rushed back into the hospital.. (mind you I've already have back up I'm meeting with another sitter this Saturday to interview)... Mean while I asked A to watch my daughter for me today he has been 35 days sober (yay, go A)...
Well......... In the hour we had to spent together this morning he has already lied to me regarding his work, making me feel guilty for even asking him to watch our daughter, demands to know what is going on with us, wanting to hug me every 5 min I'm sure you all know the drill! Through all of this I had to bite my tongue I don't want him getting mad then take it out on our daughter... I told him we would discuss this tonight...
I'm going to talk to my boss incase I have to take off tomorrow and Friday (if the sitter can't do it).. I also have to take off at the end of the month because my daughter has to see a neurologist = (
Ugh, I feel sick ALL OVER AGAIN! I wish I didn't need him I wish he didn't take advantage of me needing him, he makes me SICK!
Anyone ever stuck in a situation like this? I feel like I've taking 10 steps forward now 20 steps back = (
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Courage is not a roar. Sometimes Courage is the small voice at the end of the day that says "I'll try again tomorrow"
This is so hard. And so hard to detach from his mind games and the games our own minds play.
It takes a while to get things get up, but my life got much better when I had arranged a support system that didn't rely on my A ex at all. I just kept pressing several parents of my son's friends to have playdates, and then to exchange kid care on a regular basis. Now I can call them and say, "Something unexpected has come up, can I drop my son off at your house in half an hour?" and most often they say yes. I do the same for them, of course. One of the families is a two-parent family and even they have unexpected things come up and need last-minute childcare from time to time! And I also have a network of babysitters, daycare, and other solutions. It takes a while to get everything in place but knowing I can cope with work and childcare and illness and emergencies without my A is priceless. I hope you can set up something similar as time goes by. For now, there is no reason to feel guilty for asking A's to pull their own weight -- although it certainly can cause stress.
well i sure can relate to having a sick child and having to take so much time off work. My husband was an over the road truck driver at the time ( he's not an A ) but I was left to my own devices. I worked at the time for a pretty lax boss and she allowed me to sneak my daughter into work with me when i couldnt find anyone to watch her and since my office remained locked at all times there wasnt a chance of any one seeing my daughter. I know thats a very rare option to have available but I was truly blessed at the time with an understanding boss. Prayers to you
This process is so hard for us...sometimes i get so angry cuz it seems like when my A screws up he gets a vacation from life...and i get to pick up the mess. Taking care of the kids, house, bills..etc is so hard and it seems like the more they screw up the less they have to be responsible for. I certainly hope you catch a break soon...sounds like you really need it!
