The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I go to The Hardware Store.....I walk in...look around, the place is HUGE, I am in Heaven!!!!.
They have plants, tools, every kitchen appliance known to man, sodas, candy bars....I wander around for hours like a kid in a candy store, this place has everything I will ever need.
I walk up to the teller, and say, "Hi, I'll take a loaf of bread please"
She says, "We don't have bread here."
... ..........
She obviously didn't understand me, I'd better explain it to her....
""umm....excuse me, you are growing wheat out back, you have every kitchen appliance known to man, you have stoves, ovens, counter space, I'll take a loaf of bread please."
"Sorry, no bread here."
...
OK, I am beginning to get frustrated...So I explain how to make bread, how you have to let it rise, how good it tastes when it's fresh out of the oven, and how happy it will make to have a loaf of bread, surely everyone loves bread and understands how important it is to have fresh bread every day, we even tell God when we pray, "give us now this daily bread" and if God thinks it's important, I'd better have some....
So I smile, maybe flirt a little, and finish it up with , "So I'll take a loaf of bread please" with my best, most reasonable voice and winning smile
Blank look
"We don't have bread here Sir"
OK, now I am beginning to get frustrated, She is obviously stupid or I must not be explaining myself correctly, everybody in the world needs bread, and I want my F'ing bread dammit!!!!
hmmm....I try a different tack....
"Hi, I'd like (then I DESCRIBE a loaf of bread without calling it a loaf of bread)
"ummm....No sir, sorry, I can't help you"
OK, Now I am angry, and I start yelling "GIVE ME A LOAF OF F'ING BREAD, LOOK IT'S NOT THAT F'ING COMPLICATED, AND MY LIFE NOW DEPENDS ON THAT LOAF OF BREAD!!!!!!!"
"I'm sorry sir, I am going to have to call security"
So over the next few months, I try everything, sometimes I lose my temper, sometimes the counter person sees me coming and calls security before I even get to her check out counter. Sometimes she gets angry and just yells at me, we argue, she says she IS selling bread, I'm like, no this is a CANDY BAR, I want an F'ing loaf of bread....
I bring her loaves of bread to show her what they look like, I wheedle, cajole, flirt, manipulate, bring "helpful readings" every day to show to bake bread....I bend my mind into pretzels trying to show this poor woman how to bake bread.
I try everything. I draw pictures of bread, show her passages in the Bible that show how important bread is. I tell her bread is the staff of life and offer to show her mine. Bread I mean. I tell her bread jokes.
If bread is the staff of life, what is the life of the staff?
One long loaf
She is unamused
Why doesn't she get it?? Why can't she learn to bake bread? What is WRONG with hardware stores today?????
So one day I just end up completely losing my mind and screaming at the poor unfortunate, she calls security, I get hauled before a judge and sentenced to thirty days for exceptional stupidity.
"A loaf of bread at a hardware store??? Are you just exceptionally stupid?" The judge asks me
I hang my head, looking at it from here it does seem stupid, my behavior doesn't make sense.......
So I do my "time" and get out of jail and am walking down the street, and see a new hardware store, and look around......oooooooh....shiny!!!!
They have EVERYTHING!!!!!!!
I walk up to the cashier....."Hi <winning smile> Can I have a loaf of bread please?"
(This is a work of fiction, any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental)
Oh my gosh I loved it! I wouldn't be laughing so hard if it wasn't so true. I cannot remember how many times I went to the hardware store looking for bread.
Looking at it all now it is silly to think that that I was looking for what I needed/wanted from someone who just wasn't able to give it to me. Or how hurtful it must have been for him to give me the candy bar, which was all he had to offer, but I wasn't happy because it wasn't bread. I wonder what would have happened if I would have just said thank you for the candy bar? Who kows.
The cool thing for me is that I have learned not only to stay away from the hardware stores and I can make my own bread now. (And I really do on a weekly basis it is fun and kneading the dough is a great release) I don't have to go looking for bread anymore when I am taking care of myself.
Thanks for sharing that with us. Keep them coming.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
__________________
"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
Love your story. I will remember it each time I am confusing my stores
As a goofy side note, I was in the most confusing hardware store in my town and they had a display of bread items ... hamburger, hot dog buns by the grilling section. Goofier yet they did not carry replacement window locks. LOL
Funny- the hardware store called me tonight after I finally let them know I REALLY wasn't interested in what they have to offer. I thought they had bread too, for a long time. I even thought I saw bread advertised in the window! But I am learning that I don't have to even go near that store.
:)
odaat!
Hope
P.S. The version I have written in bold letters on my fridge is "Don't go to the hardware store for milk." Bread... milk... it doesn't matter. Hardware stores have neither.
My two favorite places: the hardware store and a bakery. I never knew I could do one stop shopping. Thanks for the life lesson. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
You know, it was a funny little story I made up as I was coming out of my bottom, it was light hearted and humorous, but I lost just about everything I possessed I held dear, both physical and emotional, a large portion of my soundness of mind, and a few years of my life learning that lesson, and wrote it from a friends couch.
Seems like such a simple thing now......don't go to dry or poison wells
I really like the post in its most essential form - why would people come back for bread when there is no bread there!
Also, the aside from Jennifer, my Hardware store carries bread too! - The great hardware store called Menard's - which I now have there theme song in my head - "Save Big Money from Menard's!".
