The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
ya know, its funny how HP can guide, and steer me thru life... I have been living in "Insanity" so long that at times it starts to feel normal all over again...
I have learned some very valuable lessons here of late, and apparently HP felt the need to give me not one but Many lessons on Acceptance... Those of you that have kept up with me lately know that i have been having some power struggles with my Best Friend, and some things going on in my life, and they have all been nothing short of more of lifes lessons, but some much harder to swallow then others...
This past weekend I didn't have any huge plans, I was up in the air about what to do with my Friday, and tho I Really Needed a Meeting, I decided instead to go Roller Skating with my Boy & some of his friends... I had a Great time :) the kids all seem to have fun, and i got to blow off some Much Needed Steam from the previous week... I woke up with sour knees, & hips, but was well worth it ;)
Next morning we got up and God blessed us with yet another beautiful day, and I got some time on my Harley, out cruisin the back roads in God's Country, its amazing how something so simple can really help me Refocus and know what "I" want instead of what others do...
Sunday was also a great day, got my house smellin Pine sole Fresh, and my Grandson had his 6th birhtday so got some time with the family, and cake & ice cream always helps the blues ;) Last night I made my Home Meeting, I was "Suppose" to lead... My Topic "was to be" acceptance...lol.. Well HP had me step back and allow for another lead who was struggling with her own inner demons.. So I backed up and gave her the floor... At first, I did kinda have resentment, and maybe even disappointment, but once I seen how bad they needed to work thru some things, it all balanced out...
After the meeting, she tells me she is sorry.. She didn't know it was "my" turn to lead, and I told it was fine, and we accually sat in the car and talked to an Extra Hour afterwards, only she let me get out what I needed so it worked out...
I have come to realize not only that HP is there for me, but that he is also there for my Best Friends Mom, My Uncle, My Other Best friend who is up & down in health, and that my Uncle that past is now with his God... The one he charished his entire life... Accepting these things have not come easy, handing them over has been like someone tieing my arms behind my back and telling me to "Swim"...But I know...Thanks to this program and the people in it, that I am slowly gaining ground on what WAS... A pretty Hectic/insane last couple of weeks...
I have been blessed with a family that loves me, and accepts me, I have been Showed in more ways then one that "I CAN" do it, and tho at times I can not "Detach" from my "Heartstrings" I can still Let Go with my Head... And Hand it to HP...I'm also learning that tho at times I tend to "Take it back" I know that know matter what... When "I'm" ready, HP will be ready and waiting to take it back again :)
I guess at times my "Worry" has always been somewhat of a "Security Blanket" in my Life, I always had worry, so its hard to learn new habits and leave the past in the past... I do feel it tho in my body when I Worry about things I can not control. My body aches, my soul litterly Hurts when I see the pain in others, and tho I know I can't "Change the World" ( as my Husband so reminds me). I can still Change ME! I can change how I think, How I react, and how I allow things to effect me... I learned all that here in this program...
Thanks MIP for being here for me, always, and for helping me see that sometimes, Minding my own business, keeping my mouth shut, and allowing others to be Who They are, and not who I want them to be, just might be God's Great Plan, and if i'm "Still" Long enough, he will give me the answers I need to stay within the means of my own journey, and out of the way of others and theirs...
Thanks for letting me share
Love & Prayers to all, & Thanks again for helping me up the Roller Coaster Hill One More Time :)
Great reminder on how it works when we work it - taking time out for YOU (to ride) to do what u need to do, to know how to find that within - getting space so u can identify with YOUrself. I can remember working out gave me that too - my own head space - meditating, nature all help me to identify with the -me- within. I am happy you are honoring, valuing and loving YOU and accepting other's choices and lives. Isnt it a relief to not be trying to run the world? lol I had to "fire myself" from that job, once officially in a meeting.
Sure worry is a security blanket or coping mechanism we learn in childhood and as adults we can put it down - as an ineffective use of our energy - pray for them and turn them over a hundred times if u have to. It was weird/scary to embrace the new behavior LOL but it pays off in program later. God will take it over and over, if u willingly surrender it. Forgive YOU. Stay focused on YOU and Now & keep working it and being grateful. The program truly is a living miracle, grateful ur here growing, transforming. tc of U
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Jozie, There was a lot of self-care in that post. Taking care of me isn't always getting to a meeting. It can be roller skating with the family (lol for you, for me that wouldn't happen, but something like it ;))
Keep working it girl!
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
Aloha Sis...God I hope you are doing sponsor service...That was so right on in how it has to work for me. Trust God...clean house...help others...all 12 in one simple phrase.
