The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have spent a lot of time on here posting about the disruption to my world so I think you all deserve an update since this board helped me get thru it and I am now hoping to be on the "other" side. Quick back story- At the end of Jan, I discovered my new husband was an A. He had cleverly hid it until some life forces made him lose all control and he was drinking a bottle of vodka a day, taking pills, several suicide attempts and reckless with money. Being a child of alcoholics and also having been married to one previously, I had told him from the very day I met him that anything other than the occasional social drink was a deal breaker for me. In an effort to spite me and gain attention, he had family members take him to the hospital "to talk to someone" and low and behold, they got a court order to keep him. As you can imagine, this tactic failed on him in a big way. He wanted everything kept a secret from me and since I had no real idea where he was, I was long gone when he came home. So his week of forced sobriety was out the window within 2 hours- my fault again because I left him.
Making that decision was the hardest thing I ever did. But drawing and sticking to that line in the sand has hopefully saved not only my marriage but his life. He promised to quit time and time again but after a few days, something finally clicked. He stopped.
He is now sober three weeks, attending AA meetings and becoming a productive person again. He is seeking a HP for himself as religion has always been questionable for him. We are working on our marriage and I am going to return home soon. He is taking responsibilty for his actions while drinking and has quit projecting blame on everyone and everything else.
Are things perfect? No. I have a lot of learning to do about living with recovery. And I do not have the confidence I once had. The only thing I have confidence in is that I can make a potentially life altering decision and stick to it. How it works out is not in my control. While I hope and pray that I will spend the rest of my life with this man, it is my decision on how I spend it with him.
I will never forget the kindness the members of this board showed me. To everyone who responded to my multiple posts, send pm's, silently read my missives and said a prayer, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is so comforting to know that no matter what, you are here. And ready to listen. Thank you.
I'm so glad you are taking care of yourself. I hope you have a copy of Getting them Sober (offered above) as it is a lifeline for anyone dealing with an alcoholic in early sobriety.
And remember have no expectation of him that you would not have of yourself. Get to the face to face meetings of the Al-Anon Family Groups and walk recovery together. There are real miracles that comes as a result of that. ((((hugs))))
