The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After leaving from his house at lunch, he has started emailing me and texting me, wanting to know if I am going to come over. He sent me this email after I left his house and ended our relationship:
It breaks my heart to have to end things this way, I love you, you are the world to me. Please find it in your heart to see me one more time. As much as we love each other I want to have a special memory of you in my heart to get me through the difficult journey I need to take.
I need to keep my head strong and not let my heart be weak! After all, I know what is best. I have admitted, I am addicted to him... the first step is admitting I have a problem. God, is it hard!!!
I have not responded to him and need to just quit reading them! My guilt will kick in and my heart and feelings will get the best of me. Then, I will be right back where I started.
Daisygirl, I am fairly new here and probably not the best one to offer up advice but I have read here a phase that comes to mind: Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes.
You do not have to make any decision to see him right now. Be kind to yourself and go take a nice bubble bath, read a book, go to a movies do something other than watching for a text or email.
It is hard. But you are in a good place here. Lots of wise people who truly care. I have been thru the worse time in my life lately and I do not know how I would have done it without the posters here.
Daisy girl...be kind to yourself. love yourself before anyone else. you have to recover from this just as much as he does. he is reaching out to you because he is afraid of facing this alone. but he needs to do just that to get his life sorted out. you cannot do it for him. letting go of something once held dear is really hard. trust your HP that things will work out for the best. how many more "just one more time" can you cope with? and what will be the outcome of them? love the man you fell in love with and leave the one he turned into well alone!
Life is full of choices, we all make some good ones and also our share of bad ones. You made a choice that was in your best interest. You are the only one who can allow him to suck you back in to a situation that you decided was not good for you or your senerity.
From the outside looking in, the emails and texting seems to be a red flag for you. He can't make you answer the phone, open an email or read a text. As I said life is full of choices and all those are choices------yours.
Over the past two weeks I have been dealing with a situation, not simular to yours, but the same rules apply. I keep telling myself that "Silence Is Golden, And Duct Tape Is Silver". It's worked for me.
