The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have only just discovered that my sister (she's 53) is an alcoholic. She and I are very close and although she has a family of her own and lives a distance away from me it has made me really sad and guilty. I feel so sad for her with this illness and so guilty that I never knew and couldn't be there for her. She is going to AA (which is why she now told me - as she's admitted she has a problem) but I still feel very sad & sorry for her. I feel like bursting into tears regularly.
Dusty, Welcome to MIP. Glad that you found us. You never knew your sister had a problem with alcoholism? If you did know what could have done differently? She would not have reached out for help any sooner if you would have known, she reached out when she was ready. Her drinking and alcoholism are nothing you can control. As much as you may have tried to. As much as it hurts you now with the thought of not knowing I can see that as a blessing.
Try to let go of the past and the guilt from not knowing and focus on you and what you can do now. You can learn more about the disease of alcoholism, you can learn more about 12 step programs, you can go to al-anon meetings and open AA meetings and you have made a wonderful first step by posting here. Keep coming back.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
__________________
"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
This is a progressive disease and with the distance I could understand you not knowing your sister was an A.
Before the x AH in my life, I had no idea what the disease of alcoholism was. No family members or friends had drinking problems.
Now that you know there is nothing you could have done , as another member has already told you. Its good that your sister has found AA and admits she is an A. Thats a first difficult step for them. Please come back to our board and share your experience and any anxiety you feel you have to get off your chest. Hope you find a face to face alanon meeting, it would help you immensely.
Bettina
-- Edited by Bettina on Thursday 15th of April 2010 02:03:12 PM
Thank you so much. It is great to have feedback from people in the same boat. The thing about my sister is that she always seemed so together. She has a good job and a loving family and nothing ever looked wrong.
I think I shall go to an al-anon meeting. I like a drink socially myself and have not felt the desire at all since she told me. I would feel guilty drinking while my poor sister is struggling with not drinking.
I presume these feelings of guilt will ease. I hope so anyway.
Welcome to MIP! You have come to the right place. Alcoholic are very charming, smart, capable people. The disease of alcoholism is very cunning, baffling, and insidious. The A's are in kahoots with the disease and hide it well. Meettings are great for experience, strength, and hope.
