The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thank you so much for your kindness and your acceptance.I was amazed again how this disease sneeks up on you and you are on the floor before you know what hits you.I have made choices in my life after growing up in achcholism and drug addiction and abuse being taken away from parents at the age of 12 but marrying in it and always chooseing abusive men addicted to something.
The last time I landed in alanon broke in my sprit beaten up and for the first time couldnt overcome it i was not tuff i was powerless and heart broken .I went to meetings daily and engulfed it in my life i was so sick and tired of beibng sick and tired and left the a and you know the rest.
I thought i was better had it together was ms Queen ha and lost my job and hit bottom again and their was not no a in my life no abuse for 3 years now yeah God no man in my life . but than oh wow no man no abuse so this is about me
so back to working the steps and back to step 1 i am powerless it is not about him or what he did or all the abuse and all the junk that happen to me it was about me and it made me face some hard truths and i am still doing it and i know it going to better when i come out on the other side because it will be the real dori not the one i became to please and keep some man in my life.
i am 52 yep you heard me 52 raseing teens and been 3 years now no man in my life it is the first time in my life and no abuse and it been real work hard work to keep at it my body my mind and my spirit craved the abuse the craziness and never allowed to show emotions the emotions are sometimes off the charts but as we know emotions are not always facts.
isolation and running were my friends and i am fighting not to use them to stay sick it is my responibilty to get heathy no ones but mine so i knew i had to stay and straighten this out to get more healthy and no i am not well enough to go ha .
One thing you said, is something that I had "a moment" about the other day at a meeting while listening to someone else share about how they got to Al-Anon.
You said that we "are on the floor before you know what hits you".
Thats how I got here. Life had driven me down to the floor, down to my knees. And I realize now that was exactly where I needed to be ..... on my knees. HP had put me right where I needed to be, it was just up to me to take advantage of the position and start doing what I should have been doing all along. Putting my trust and faith in a power greater than myself, through whom all love flows, and all good comes.
