The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Another al anon member asked me if I had done any step work with my sponsor. She said she was given questions on each step to complete and then discussed th answers. I have been sponsered for over to years. My sponsor is great and we have long chat she has learnt me a lot. I have done tried an attempt at a step for and shared some of this but I have never done an formal kind of step work. Do all sponsors work differently are we suposed to do actual step work using questions etc any ESH would be great
Well, I imagine everyone does it differently. For me, the Al-Anon program is based on the 12 step program. I can't imagine being a sponsee or sponsor without doing the steps.
Questions for each step are great, lots of reading, but the WORK of going through my resentments, identifying my character defects, making amends, turning it over, being of service and reaching out to others who are suffering, and taking my inventory daily and apologizing where necessary is where the real change occurred.
Having someone to go to for guidance through difficult situations and to share my frustrations with is wonderful. But to truly change my life, my behaviors, and my level of serenity the steps were required.
Hope that helps.
Tricia
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
Aloha Tracy...Tricia is right on regarding the many angles of how this program is worked and I want to add that the program does have a book, our "Big Book" that can help with some clariity. "How Al-Anon Works" is a foundation stone for the program in helping others understand. Most of my writing was on step 4 and step 8 and I have done personal journaling that took in all steps. That's how I've done it. ((((hugs))))
Yes most sponsors do things the way they were sponsored. There are some that do not work steps with a sponsee and will ask them to get a step sponsor. It usually depends on what the sponsor is comfortable with. However, if your sponsor has not suggested working the steps or obtaining a step sponsor, I would suggest that you evaluate what is healthy for you. The one thing about sponsors is that they are not one size fits all. And what worked for you a year ago may not work for you now. I have found myself in the case of the latter & have fired gently 2 sponsors. I remain friends with both & they completely understood the reasoning. I hope this helps - I know it is hard to find a good sponsor and you might benefit from asking someone to be a temp sponsor to see how things go. Good luck Karen
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Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
I have loved being in step meetings. Right now, there is a women's step meeting right after my weekly open al-anon meeting. We use PATHS TO RECOVERY. I love it. hugs, J.
I agree the Steps are the key to change and growth!! I too love my step meetings each week and continue to learn from the shares.
It seems that you and your sponser have a great relationship so I would suggest that you talk to her about working the steps in a more formal manner. How it is done is an individual preference. I have one new sponsee who loves to journal and write out each step and review it It is very in depth and works well. I have another who would rather just do an outline and meet to discuss. The big writing should be the 4th and 8th step.
We are also trying to do a step every 2 weeks here on the Step Work Board. I believe we are up to the 3rd Step and I find that very helpful as well.
Another thing I found helpful in the beginning were the slogans:
" Let Go and Let God" or "I cannt, He can ,Let HIm" represented the first 3 Steps
"Focus on yourself" and "Take nobodys inventory but your own" was th 4th step
The Steps became second nature and a ways of life You are doing fine
everyone does this different tracy , ask your sponosr it she has time to work the steps with you, dont do them alone .. you may like the book Paths to Recovery , it has a group of questions after each step , alot of people like the book for step work .. I havent seen the new step work book , aparentlyit is good too , so u have a couple of options .
