The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone, I have shared how my sober ABF has started to have slips again and how I have used my al anon to handle this effectivly. However after a recent panic attack my Hp sent me a message that he loved me and that it was my time. I care for my Bf but I really think I want t fix me. I can not fix him or anyone else. It is not that i do not care it is I have nothing left to give.. I have neglected myself my wants and needs for to long. My addiction has done all this to me. I want to totally focus on me, fix me, improve my life.
Thanks to this programme today I care about me.
Today I see I am only responsible for me and my children. My A is in a bd place there is nothing I can do. I have had guilt my sponsor says it is false my sickness. I know I have a long road to travel but my inner voice is screaming THIS HAS TO BE YOUR TIME>
I truley believe this is why I found al anon, i think if I concentrate on me the happiness I crave will come. I will pray fo my ABF but this is all I can offer.
When I feel bad for taking care of me, or scared or lonley I will come on here, go to a meeting, ring my sponsor. I want to recover and I can not do that around sick people he knows where the help is his recover is his he will be ready when he is ready today I am ready and I AM POWERLESS over him and his recovery
hugs
-- Edited by Tracy on Tuesday 13th of April 2010 02:38:10 PM
Take care of yourself first was the first thing I was told when I entered the rooms of Al-Anon. It took a while for that to sink in. I had to "unlearn" my old habits. I had to get over the sickness the disease had caused in my life. Taking care of yourself first didn't seem right when I had been accustomed to putting the alcoholic first. That was part of my sickness. It was a process ----but in time the program won----and I will forever be grateful.
Isn't it funny after you start putting yourself first it becomes second nature. It works if you work it and it sounds like that is exactly what you are doing.
Tracey, yeah, getting the order right after all that time- just like on the airplane: put your face mask/breathing assistance on first before helping others put theirs on. Good work, you deserve it!! Take it, because no one else is going to be doing it- except your HP of course : ) hugs and don't stop. Jean
PS: I like your final list in your final paragraph: come here, call sponsor, get to a meeting. Golden!
