The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This Saturday I will be leaving for a trip to Japan. This is a trip I have been waiting for. It is a trip to meet my new granddaughter, Julia, who was born on 3/27. I will be up in the air for 14 hours straight. That has me stressed to begin with but what I am really afraid of is leaving the A son at home for a week. I am worried because as of about 2 or 3 weeks ago he has been drinking the hard stuff and has blacked out twice and fallen and busted his face and head open. He probably should have gone to the ER but you know how they are when they are so wasted.
I have really got to detach from him for that week and not worry about if he is ok or not. I know when I hold that little baby in my arms nothing else will matter but that is where I want my focus to be for that entire week. I will not get to see her again until Christmas. sigh!
Please keep my family in your prayers for that week that my son stays safe and that I don't freak out on the airplane trip
I understand your concern. The disease of alcoholism is progressive and continues on the downward spiral.
It is now that your alanon tools will serve you well!!!
Please remember that you are powerless over people, places or things. Place your A son in HPs hands and remember that alanon slogans will work very well. Remember: Do not Project, Live ODAT, Let Go Let God, First Things First.
Bring your "Courage to Change "in your bag and the Bookmark, "Just for Today."
Anytime you feel your anxiety, or fear start to overtake you take out each piece of literature and read. The Bookmark is so perfect for the trip, during the time you are in the air call on it often. I have found it brings great serenity.
This trip sounds so very special and you so deserve it!!! Start using the tools every moment before you leave and take lots of pictures.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I understand how you are feeling and so glad you are going. Ive only ever had one long flight (9hours) and I asked my doc for a sedative, I really feel it helped my restlessness.
Congratulations on Julia, I have a little grand-daughter who will be 3 on Wednesday.....she certainly keeps me distracted from the chaos. Enjoy your time in Japan.
Hotrod knows her stuff! Great ESH. Please know that this trip is brought to you courtesy of YOUR HP so you need to get on board with a smile and a wink and roll with it! Its going to be so wonderful to see that beautiful new baby- the beginning of a wonderful new life, the biggest hope and promise of all. Leave all that crap down on the ground where it belongs- with the A. Keep focussed on you and your trip and how you are doing. Bring along something that you can hold- a rock or shell or a little figurine or something that makes you feel good and connected. Bring your literature for sure. Maybe you like to read fiction or write or do some kind of needlework or knitting. Bring an iPod or music or tapes to listen to. Fill those long hours of ways to comfort and care for yourself. Use it as a mini-opportunity to fill your entire self with al-anon if you can! Do the things that you love to do and be sure to bring a long bunch of small snacks that you like- your favorite nuts, a granola bar, little things like that. Comfort and baby yourself! Before you know it, the trip will be over and it will be all about that beautiful new baby. Stay in the present moment- do not worry about the future. Stay in TODAY! hugs, J.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I know how hard it is to leave and worry about their safety. Try to think of your son being nestled in your HP's hands when those moments hit. That visualization always helped me alot.
Gail - I can only imagine how many different emotions you must be feeling - I am lifting you up in thought and prayer - for comfort and peace so that you will be able to enjoy each and every moment of this exciting adventure!
when I feel overwhelmed and can't even get all the words of the serenity prayer out - I just repeat: God Serenity Courage Wisdom
taking in a deep breath before and exhaling as allow the words to flow thru my mouth and body.
Also prayers your son will be safe as he walks his journey - prayerfully that he will find his way to recovery soon.
here is a web site that I have visited for speakers - hope you are able to find some that you like: http://www.xa-speakers.org/
HUGS to you, Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
I see great courage that you are taking the trip! My first thought was that his HP will take care of him so you can enjoy your new g-baby.
May your flight be smooth, your g-baby and your trip awesome! Things always work out when we trust our HP.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Aloha Gail...have a good trip!! Whether you like it or not...Its ALL in HPs hands you, your son, the airplane, Japan, your grand-daughter. Turn it all over including the fear. Courage is fear that has said its prayers...straight from the ODAAT.
Be cool get the in-flight movie. (((((hugs)))))
Check in from Japan if you can (in English) and tell us how things are going for you.
Ok Gail so what can ya do to help him when he uses and bonks and busts himself now? NOTHING.
So as always he is in hp's hands. There are many other people around to help him if he needs it. Lettem!
I practice visualizing people and my animals in hp's hands. Now it is natural to do so.
Am so happy for you! This is an old hippie thing. To be where you are. put yourself in the moment. Use your senses, see what is around you, say it. I see a chair, the sky is blue, that lady has black hair. I hear the sound of a kid laughing, the jet engine, someone eating. I feel the arm rest, the circulation of the air. etc.
This way ya don't go thru the whole experience and say wow it went so fast, I feel like I was never there! You can make moments go forever if you want to. Paying attention you know? Drinking it all in.
I will feel an animal to remember it. When I was in hi school this brown Basset Hound used to come to my house. I felt his ears, they were so soft. That is how i remember him.
Anyway I know you will be having a great time. Hey flying can be the most restful thing. You cannot do anything else! No one can call,no bills in the mail, no A being a putts! Enjoy it.
Can't add much here. Instead I wish for you the safest, happiest, most glorious trip of a lifetime. I am so excited for you. The thought of you finally getting to hold Julia just makes my heart sing. I wish I was going with you just so I could see your face when you finally meet her in person. (Not to mention you get to eat really good sushi !) I will say an extra prayer for you and your family. Much love and blessings to you all. Give Julia an extra hug, kiss and tickle for me. Hurry home to us.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Thank you all for your wonderful esh. I will print out all the replies and take them with me on the plane.
I know that there is really nothing I can do. I also know that there are many people who love and care for my son. I guess what I need to do is tell everyone that I do not want to know anything about what he is doing unless it would be serious enough to come home
I will connect to you from my son's house in Japan.
(Not to mention you get to eat really good sushi 
!) I will say an extra prayer for you and your family. Much love and blessings to you all. Give Julia an extra hug, kiss and tickle for me. Hurry home to us. 