The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today I found out I can start the mower, and I got most of the lawns mowed. Tomorrow I try the weedeater! LOL I am taking care of the animals singlehandedly; even hired a reputable painter to finish the outside of the house. (the A just dropped everything and walked out.) Calling that "walking out" is a stretch; he actually reeled out the door slurring curses, ranting and raving. Sorry to say, I believe he has lost his mind. I told him as he left that he has 30 days to take his belongings, after which time I will dispose of things as I see fit.
Today I stopped crying. Haven't shed a tear. Of course I miss him, sick as it sounds. I miss the man he was; the man who disappeared more and more each day. He does not accept that he was the cause of the collapse of our relationship. He never will. I am so happy that I have saved my own sanity. YAY for me!
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
You are right "YAY" for you. So very empowering to take on those jobs and be successful . You Rock!!!!
I know your Heart is still saddened because of this terrible disease but you are showing us all how to walk with the pain and take the next right action.
This too shall pass. Thank you for sharing your recovery with us.
I miss him, sick as it sounds. I miss the man he was; the man who disappeared more and more each day.
Missing that person before he lost his mind has not ever gone away completely for me but it does get a whole lot better. You have my best wishes for a good weedwacking experience, that darn thing scares me silly
(((Diva))) Of course you miss him, that' doesn't sound sick at all. This is the man you shared your life with for years. It's to be expected. But in spite of missing him, you're getting on with YOUR life. And that sounds really healthy. You'lll have that weedwhacker mastered in no time. :) Yep, YAY for you!
Today I stopped crying. Haven't shed a tear. Of course I miss him, sick as it sounds. I miss the man he was; the man who disappeared more and more each day. He does not accept that he was the cause of the collapse of our relationship. He never will. I am so happy that I have saved my own sanity. YAY for me!
Diva
I can relate to those words - felt the same - "miss the man he was; who disappeared more and more each day"
also miss the man I always thought he was "going to be"
my ex AH had almost 3 yrs in recovery and for a while there were great changes and the bright glimmer of such hope - but then once again the disease came calling and won.
I am so glad you found your strength, courage and wisdom to take care of YOU!!
Remember you are worth it and deserve this sanity and peace!!
HUGS to you!! Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
(((Diva))), You go girl!!!!!! What an empowering post you are sharing with us.
Feel your feelings they are yours. There are some days when I really miss my ex despite all the bad that went along with his disease. I allow myself to feel them and then I move on.
You are working it girl.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
We miss the illusion of what we wanted it to be, what we thought it could, should have been, what we had before it slipped away, was taken, was ruined.
As sad as it feels, it's still an illusion, and focusing on an illusion is the saddest thing of all, for me.
I intend to give my loving attention to that which I know is real. I give my loving attention to that which is the source of the love in my heart, my love, my heart; my God, my everything. May increasing joy be your signal from your intuition that you are rising above the whispers of veiled illusions that held your thoughts hostage and in turn, kept your spirits down.
You're the Diva! Lover of life, friend of the wounded, compassionate leader to the struggling. Look within, see your light, then let it shine.
This whole theme psot was very enpowereing for me.... I still ahve my ah living with and married to me, but he might as well be gone for I do it all, but ya know waht... it feels good to be so responsible.. We can mow, weedwack etc, and waht we/I miss is not waht he is, it is what we wish he was...
